a day (satu hari ke?) with ma girls!!!

it was juz an eve wit my sis, going out for shopping a bit, and pizzas to eat! havin lots of fun, (though not as crazy as others) and paling best, i got a nice pair of stilletto!

oh! happy birthday angah sweetie :) have a pleasant, and successful year ahead, amin~~

think twice~!

as i'm browsing through the blogs, searching for something good to read, i came across nina's untitled entry. this is what she wrote:

"Just keep it to yourself, luv. Because everybody is going to save his/her own ass so there's no use. The relief you feel when you let it out of your chest is short-lived. It's really all too late.

Be more discreet, and you'll be safe(r).

The good thing is, it will make you reassess; think twice next time!"

while reading, the words sank deeper and deeper into my heart and thoughts. i kinda felt a harsh pang! on my face as i went on reading. *sigh* though i didnt know on what grounds she wrote this, but her words are a complete and utter truth. i realized this many times before, but it seems like i'm too stupid to learn from previous mistakes :)

i am a kind of girl who needed a loud spanking on the head from those closest to me to keep me sane and awake everytime i made mistakes and regretted it later (all the time!) i would be sad, humiliated, crazy and stupid-all-the-time, but these few close friends of mine would always remain composed and be patient with my stupidity n always be the ones to kick me at the back and said, "Grow up! really, this time, learn!" time passes by, and i always feel that i'm running out of time. i wanna make amends, but in the end i could only pray to Allah to forgive my foolishness and selfishness...

there are many things in the world i'm afraid of. one of those things is not knowing the time i'm breathing my last breath and die. but what i'm afraid of the most are...

anyway, i'm reminding myself to be more discreet next time. sometimes, things are better left unsaid...

(again and again, to those who care; thanks for all the love and support you've given me... you know who you are.)

la di da!

wah, skang ni musim hujan dah pun bermula.. sana sini banjir, nasib baik johor tak banjir. lagi. hopefully not. teringat kawan2 kat kelantan dan terengganu, terkena tak tempias banjir. mudah2an semuanya selamat je..

arini aku balik lewat lagi dr sekolah, pukul 4 baru sampai umah, ni sume gara2 mesyuarat akhir tahun SARS1. letih btol meeting lama2, tapi nasib baik tuan haji W ada wat lawak sket last2 tu. heheh, AJK Payung, menarik btol nama tu :)

meeting abes dah nak dekat kul 330, masing2 dah resah atas kerusi. apa taknya, langit time tu mendung je. angin sejuk pon dh start terasa (tipu aa fatin, ko dok dalam aircond, mana rasa angin) bila tuan haji bagi salam je, sume bingkas. aku je terhegeh2 angkut beg. pi naik opis, punch kad dulu. alamak! ada lagi barang tertinggal... alaa..

drive balik arini seronok, tapi scary pon ada gak. seronok sebab ujan lebat, sejuk! scary sbb nyaris2 kete aku nk ke bahu jalan sbb laju, jalan licin (tak perasan meter :P) tapi alhamdulillah, aku slamat gak sampai umah...

dan sbb lain hari ni best ialah.... aku dpt mkn ulam yg lm diidamkan! hehhe, dah lama dok cari pucuk gajus, teringat time bersantap di restoran nasi ulam kat pdg tembak dgn ita n dayah.. sedapnye... sebenarnye, aku dah lupa mcm mana rupe ulam yg aku mkn dulu tu, tp ita kata daun gajus. akak yg bagi aku ulam ni pon kata ni daun gajus, aku pon iyo kan ajo laaa... hehehe. cube korang tgk, betul eh ni daun gajus??

apapun kawan2, hidup perlu diteruskan :) heh. till next time, bye!

(this entry is dedicated to beloved friends who are always supporting me, believing me and have faith in whatever i do. i love you guys, a lot, truly, madly, deeply. You know who you are.)

--C.H.A.S.T.E..H.E.A.R.T.F.E.L.T--

sape kata drama tipu?

sebenarnya tajuk atas tu mcm takde kaitan dgn apa yg aku nk cerita ni :) aku xkisah aaa korang nk gelak ke, kesian ke kat aku ni.

otw nk pi dewan pagi tadi, dgn keadaan yg tersangat laa mengantuk (tak cukup tdo), aku bjalan laa dgn gaya2 seorang guru yg sewajarnya. hik hik hik. singgah jap kat SAL room, discuss dgn chief pasal work dis weekend. pot pet pot pet... so, aku pon sambung jalan balik.

"Opps! assalamualaikum miss fatin..nasib tak tlanggar." "Waalaikumslm, hah, awk nak pi mana ni? jalan elok2 sket ye.." ada pulak budak ni nk tlanggar aku. ceh. sambung jalan balik...
"Eh? mana miss ni? kejap betul dia turun tangga! br nk tya keje...."


++++++++++++++++ di suatu tempat yg tak berapa nk jauh dr bilik SAL...+++++++++++++


"Lalalala... eh eh! Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!"


adegan seterusnya adalah aku yg dah tergolek dok kat atas lantai, tgh tgk2 sekeliling, ada tak org nampak. "Fuh, line clear. Selamat! aduh....."

ntah, aku pon tak pasti apa yg jadi. yg aku tau, aku tgh nk turun tangga, tetibe je kaki aku jd lemah, mata aku gelap jap. a split second. gedebak gedebuk! serius, aku berguling jatuh tangga, mcm yg dalam drama slalu tunjuk tu. aku tak tipu. masa jatuh tu, tak ingat sakit. tgk line clear tak, bukan apa, malu beb! naseb baik xde org langsung. dah lega xde org, baru aa sakit tu datang. aduuhh... nasib baik aa aku bguling tu ala2 cover sket. takde aa tersingkap mana2 :P dalam pada jatuh tu, seb baik tgn ni sempat nk capai tiang. kalau tak, mau nk sepuluh anak tangga aku tergolek.

kesimpulannya, aku mmg suka jatuh. bukan sengaja pon. dari dulu lg asik jatuh je manjang. bukan nye org tolak ke apa. apa daa fatin :)

ni tgh tuam kaki. apa laa nasib badan. hai...

the first quarter of the moon.

i walked along the corridor of what seems to be dreams to me, looking for faces that i recognized, but there were none. all, were empty, hollow faces of sins and malice. i shuddered for a while at the thought of how i'm going to end all these...
as i was looking for familiar faces, the gaze suddenly fixed upon a pair of seemingly beautiful eyes...

she continued to run. "DOnt look back! Dont look back!" she urged herself, but the truth was, she really wanted to look back. just a glimpse wouldnt be enough to make her winced, she could not be scared. but no.. she was afraid all right. but she really have to see it. It. was it even right to call it 'It'? she didnt know....

she seemed to be out of breathe now. haha. poor thing, lets stop chasing the frightened kitten for a while. i know a little tag and hide-and-seek would be fun... uummm.. look at those silky black hair... she's so delicious, wasnt she? hihihi..

the eyes, beautiful as it were, had an insignia of evil... i could not avoid those eyes! slowly, i lowered the gaze but just to see a wicked, curly smile upon that tasty lips... something started throbbing inside my chest. is it fear? is it admiration? damn! i must be crazy. real crazy...
all of a sudden, i moved, unwillingly, towards the body of those eyes and lips. advancing slowly to a couple of hands that seemed to reach out for me, not to accept, rather to crawl those little snake-like fingers on the bare arms of mine... i struggled, but i could not stop moving...

while running, she could see a shining piece of metal swaying, side to side, just barely missed an inch from her back everytime she slowed her run to catch her breath. still, she couldnt see a thing other than that shining metal. cold breeze crawling, catching hold of her bare back and neck, making her feel a little goosebumps coming out of the skin, as time passed...

hahaha. she must be mine. those silky black hair.. i wanted to play those hairs. those golden velvety skin... i wanted to lick it. and those vanilla-sweet scent from her back... umm.. i could have a taste at that.. heheh. my skin's tingling just thinking of that...

[copyright reserved - fatin, 2009]