It’s a Wednesday blues..

I got weird dreams lately. Selalunye aku cuma mimpi 2,3 kali setaun, tapi kali ni byk pulak... Sumenye mimpi pasal kawan2, yg pada aku macam satu hint or a kind of foreshadow (which I hope not) of what is about to happen.

Can’t remember the details of each dreams and respective people involved, but I do remember this one particular dream about my best friends. I can’t really understand the meaning, but I don’t feel good about it. It is something about him going away to Europe and stuff. Bukanlah maksudnya secara literal yg that person akan pi eropah, tapi it means that he’s going away, far… hmm, I do hope that both of them are doing fine there…

Arini rasa tak sihat, sakit perut je. Mcm kene food poisoning jek. Apa ek aku mkn mlm td? Adoi… tak suka betul..

Think I need an ORS. Penning off for now. Ja.

ari yg xbest lgsung..

ok..
hari ni dah la penat, xde mood..
pastu kete plak kene langgar!
argh~!!
duit lg..

benci, benci, benci~!

in reference to 'the bitches went haywire' and 'its another wonder...'

friends,
i am truly sorry for what i have said.
yes, it was very wrong of me to say such insensitive thing.

i would offer no further justification for this;
just to clarify, those were written without any reference to anybody.
i'm sorry to hurt anybody out there.
the regret is mine to bear.

at the end of this life,
i would wish to heal the breach.

untuk semua yang berpayungkan nama Cohort 2 TESL... Part 1

6 tahun sudah pun sampai ke penghujung nye..
kita takkan pernah menyangka, apa yg kita lalui selama ini mpunyai satu titik, tapi itu bukan satu noktahnya pada apa yang kita pegang, apa yg kita percaya, dan apa yg kita perjuangkan..

6 tahun kawan2, bukan laa satu jangka masa yg mudah untuk kita pandang dengan sebelah mata.
6 tahun juga bukan satu masa yang mudah untuk kita lalui...
terlalu banyak pengorbanan, tangisan, ketawa, penat lelah yang kita berikan..
kita kawan, kita lawan..
kita ketawa, kita menangis..
kita menang, kita kalah..
kita bangun, kita jatuh..
semuanya kita lakukan bersama..

kepada kawan2 TESL Cohort 2:
terima kasih untuk segalanya,
maafkan untuk segalanya,
kenangkan semua,
abadikan semua..

kepada kalian yang pernah menjadi kawan dan masih kawan;
terima kasih untuk segala yang pernah dikongsikan bersama..

kepada kalian yang pernah menjadi lawan, dan kini kawan;
aku berterima kasih untuk semuanya..

dan kepada kalian yang pernah menjadi lawan namun kini renggang;
maafkan atas segala keterlanjuran kata.
amarah ternyata sia2,
gembira jadi duka.
aku harap segalanya dipermudahkan untuk kita,
dan ketemu bersahabat semula.

groovy retro!

mcm ni la..

aku admit, at times i can be cruel.
the trusting nature of mine of led me to believe everything that i see and hear.
i cant bear any more betrayals, that is why i acted the way i did.

the spontaneous nature of mine led me to do things i wish to do at that time,
but not anymore later.
i cant stop myself, that is why i did what i had not intend to do.

the secretive nature of mine makes me keep everything to myself,
but not when everything's bottled up inside and i juz have to let it out.
i cant stand it anymore, that is why i poured it all out.

i never asked for others to understand me cos i myself sometimes did not understand others.
mistakes had been done, no more explanation to offer.
i did what i think i had to do, and no longer i care.

just one thing:
never ever trust what others told you about your friends.
they can be very deceiving.
often u know the truth, but u let their lies eat u up inside.

that is what happened between us.
sorry for not confronting u, i am not the person with the courage.

God forgive me, but I'm not sorry any longer.
believe what u want to believe,
i'm holding no more grudges against u.

ketakwarasan pada ku.

ketakwarasan pada ku
membuat bayangan mu selalu ada
menenteramkan malamku
mendamaikan tidurku..

ketakwarasan padaku
selimut tebal hati rapuhku
berkah atau kutukan
namaMu yang akan ku sebut.

ketakwarasan pada ku
membuat hidupku lebih tenang
aku takkan sedari
bahawa kau tak lagi disisi..

aku mulai nyaman
berbicara pada dinding kamar
aku takkan tenang
saat sehatku datang.

"suara hati takkan mati,
jika jiwa terus menari dan bermimpi..."

when the day is raining...

it's raining, and i could not be any happier :) sape laa x suke time sejuk2 cani, best je tdo. tp yg xbestnye, aku xdpt tdo, tapi stuck dlm kelas dgr lectures... (sigh)

skang aku tgh dengar asif present LCA, ntah amende die merapu kat depan. heheh. well, i suddenly remembered my conversation with LPG about my ambition. she's so positive that she responded to it in quite a way that i would have not expected of her to say it.

for me, everyone deserve a second chance to improve themselves. people should not always be judgemental. as for myself, i'm learning slowly to train myself not to be blinded by hatred and prejudices. think of the bright side, and u'll be surprised as what it can do to others, miraculously.

but then again, its part and parcel of life.

ash, 1245hrs.