i have felt it all...

Dh lama tak menulis kat blog ni. walaupun sebelum ni aku dh berazam nk jd blogger yg aktif, nampaknya tinggal azam je la :) life’s so unmanageable, uncontrollable dan segala ‘un’ ‘un’ yg sewaktu dengannya.. Due to all these ‘un’, I almost missed my convocation. For almost a month and a half, I’ve been working day n night and deprived of my rest and sleep. But I wouldn’t want to complaint. Cos what I did were something that I wanted to do, and wished for. But I guess I was too reckless :)

My convocation was scheduled on Sunday, 18th of October 2009. On Friday, the whole fam n I set out for my uncle’s place in klang to attend the ceremony. Unfortunately, jumaat tu aku dh start demam and I was getting a lot worse on Saturday. Masa tu xtau dh nk ngadu kat sape, except for oney n shaffiq. I was desperately clinging to the last energy that I had, just to make sure that I would be able to get up and attend the ceremony, meeting friends and receiving the much anticipated scroll from the PC myself. I had missed the chance of meeting my friends week earlier due to work I did on weekends (I don’t have ‘weekends’ for months!) so I’m not letting go of this only chance. But as much as I tried to hold on, I gave in. last2, mlm tu ibu ‘rendam’ aku dlm air, just to cool down the heat. Masa tu aku pk, mmg xleh bgn jgk aa ni jwbnye.. pasrah dah :(

“Kawan-kawan sume tgh sibuk bsiap agaknya”, aku masih lg berbaring. Nk msg, tapi xsampai ati nk ganggu kegembiraan org len dgn kerisauan sakit diri ni. “Tahan fatin…” last2, ganggu shaffiq jgk, nak ngadu sakit yg tak bhenti lg… (nasib baik pakcik tu sporting) ada kawan yg concern n beri semangat, rasa sihat sket. Tak dapat tidak, “esok aku mesti bgn!” senyap2 aku bjanji dgn diri sendiri.

Nevertheless, Thanks to the Almighty (ibu did a solat hajat out of concern for me, thanks ibu!) I managed to wake up the next morning, feeling nothing but vigor and excitement! Bangun pun dh agak lambat jgk, so kelam kabut sket laa. Tudung ntah senget agaknya, muka tak de aa nk make up pape. Redah je! but seriously, I’m soo thankful to Allah for everything. While singing the song ‘UiTM diHatiku’, I did shed tears (naseb baik xde org nampak). All these years of working hard and playing around, and tears and laughter, had paid off. Seeing all happy faces of friends and crying mums and dads over the children’s achievement, left me almost speechless. “Syukran ya Allah” was the only thing I could say.

Keluar dari dewan, trapped dlm lautan graduan gembira yg masing2 mencari muka2 org tersayang. Siap traffic jam plak. Aku dahle tak bwak hp, tawakal je laa ni karang. Borak2 dgn gugu, (lama btol tak jumpa memet! ) Dlm pada tgh berusaha nk kuar tu, terdengar plak sapaan satu suara yg dikenali kat exit dewan. Aku toleh, terkesima jap (nasib baik dapat cover) what happened after that was history…

18 oktober adalah satu sejarah. Pengakhiran kepada suatu kenangan dan juga permulaan kepada suatu catatan. Humiliation and pride, fear and courage, failures and success; I have felt it all. Neither am I proud nor am I ashamed of what I have been. I’ve been sorry, I’ve been thankful. What awaits me now is another step to take, another mile to go, and another obstacle to conquer…