from the heart of a young woman...

2010

2010-12-23T11:02:00.002+08:00

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious n the Most Merciful..

today, its december 22, 2010.

in 2 days time, i will be married to a man whom i think the only person (so far) who could love me, hate me,

and accept me, the way i really am.

i'm a hopeless romantic, and i'm a foolish girl who'd fall in love again n again in dis course of life,

but i believe, this is the time where i would never again fall in love, but with only dis one man.

the journey is yet to take its turn, but i hope, i would live to see many other great things in dis world (insyaAllah) with the person i loved the most.

and in a matter of 7, or 8 days,

2010 would be another history.

another memories.

written among many pages in the book we called life.

strength and courage must we muster,

to face a great deal of things we have yet to see.

i am afraid.

fear that i would fall and stumble upon hardships and challenges.

fear that i would lost to worldly temptations, evil's hatred, or human's contempt and jealousy.

and i fear the most that, i'd lose ppl i love and God's mercy on me.

but i'm keeping my head high, my hopes even higher,

for families n friends worth having,

for a world worth living,

and,

for a love worth fighting,

may Allah bless us. insyaAllah.

nikmat yang tidak dihargai ....

2010-10-18T19:34:00.007+08:00

lebam dan bengkak. merah dan biru.

bonjol dan benggol, senget dan tersimpul.

di perbaringan, mata terlekat, rapat.

terlepas lelahan kuat, terhembus nafas yang tersekat.

terasa nikmat yg tak terucap.

mata rasa berpinar, bahu terasa pijar.

kaki terjulur lemah longlai, tangan terhulur tak tergapai....

kadangkala terasa berdosa sekali, bila nikmat yang satu ini tidak disyukuri.

akan kah kekal pemberianNya yang satu ini, bila si hamba tidak menyesali?

mahu ku lari ke dada langit,

mencari gemersik suara kekasih,

alunan merdu sang bayu menggamit,

jiwa insan meratap, merintih.

ash21

2010/10/18

ayam penyet, oh ayam penyet..

2010-10-13T21:04:00.018+08:00

semalam adalah hari yang sungguh memenatkan. oh silap, sebenarnya 2 bulan kebelakangan ni (dan beberapa bulan yg seterusnya) adalah (dan bakal) bulan yg meletihkan badan dan otak. mata dh mcm panda, muka dh kuar jerawat sana sini, badan makin melidi *sigh* aku xtau aa nk kata apa, bila mkn byk, berat nek. tapi semudah itu juga laa berat aku turun. masalahnya, bila turun berat tu, makin teruk aaa melidi badan aku. bila naik berat, berisi nya x nmpak sgt.

ok, cukup la pasal berat. semalam sepatutnya aku kuar berjumpa dgn encik H.One, tapi terpaksa kensel sbb Faiz ajak setelkn hal2 penting yg ttangguh. sedih gak, sbb dlm kepala ni dh set mcm2 nk berbual, nak sepak kaki dia, nak dengki, mcm2 lg la :) [mesti awk kecik ati dengan saya kan? sorry!] kebetulan pulak semalam dia cuti [agak skola tu xde budak amik b.tamil dgn b.cina ke?? xaci btol!] dan aku lak stil kene jaga pekse. balik dr skolah, settlekan apa yg patut, take a nap for a while (skang ni pantang letak kepala, kompem lelap!) main2 dgn myra, take a quick lunch, trus pi bersiap2 nk kuar. ikutkan badan ni, letih ya Rabbi, tapi kenangkan mcm 2 lg xsetel (pd hal tarikh dh dekat) "haish, runsinglah!" (ala2 gaya najib atok ckp, hehe) gagahkn juga. lewat petang tu, bila dh selesai urusan yg nk disetelkn, perut mulalah bkeroncong. "mana mau mkn ye?" asik2 fast food, bosan gak. bukan elok sgt pon mkn slalu. so kebetulan time tu di Aeon Melaka,singgah mkn baskin jap, lepas rindu kat Choc mint :P dhabes je, trus pi tesco sbb decided nk try ayam penyet AP yg baru bukak (baru jgk laa).

i'm not really fond of the dish, but i actually intended to make comparison between dis one and ayam penyet limbongan (area Mydin MITC) that i frequented. tetibe nk jd food kritik lak, haha. so both of us ordered the ayam penyet dish (ade byk dishes len, tp kali ni amik satu je) ok2, setelah selesai mkn, both faiz and i agreed on several matters (apsal skema sgt ni??)

1) Price

ok, org slalu nk tgk price mkanan brapa. bukan nk kata apa, setengah org tu xkisah mkn mahal2, tapi pd aku, mcm deciding factor jgk la :P

in terms of price, both Ayam penyet AP (AP) and ayam penyet Limbongan (APL) have reasonable price for their dishes. maybe AP is slightly (only slight) cheaper, but not much. so, 1st factor, passed!

2) Presentation

in terms of presentation, AP uses round ceramic bowls with daun pisang for their dishes and nasi putih in a separate plate (different price, not counted as one). the dishes are served without any garnishing, as you can see below.

yup, that's all. and the plate with the nasi, only have the nasi, round shape (mcm style nasi ayam yg acuan dlm mangkuk tu). giler nmpak lonely btol pinggan tu, unattractive! (tlupa amik gambar plak sbb dish sampai je trus serang. starving!) the dish ade letak serbuk warna coklat (dunno what, mcm ala2 serunding, tp rangup - see pic. clockwise, item 2)

APL, on the other hand, serve the dishes in a rattan-woven tray-like thing, also with daun pisang, another tray of white rice (price counted as one dish), a bowl of sambal and a bowl of soup. (also xde gambr, aiseh! xleh jd critics la!) therefore, the presentation is much more organised, more space required on the table but also means more in quantity for each item!

verdict: APL wins! sbb ade soup, AP xde. pastu APL lebih menarik presentation nya :)

3) quality & quantity

in terms of quantity, each outlet has d same item for the dish (except for that brown 'serbuk' for AP n soup for APL). so we looked at the size. haha! AP serves a smaller potion of chicken than APL's. uish, ayam tu penting tu! i found that i could finish the AP dish quicker than i could APL's (xtau aa kalau aku mmg tgh kebuur ke, haha) APL's ayam penyet mmg biasanya aku xabes sbb kenyang.

in terms of taste, AP's chicken a bit dry (maybe dis one overcooked) but APL's a bit ok la. besar sket, so puas sket mkn. but AP's sambal, wow! mmg pedas! sambal APL sedap, tapi xpedas sgt. so kat sini, a bit subjective. sapa suka pedas, AP's d answer. kalau x, APL la :)

verdict: APL menang sket, heheh

4) drinks

at AP, most of the drinks (i think semua laa) are ice-blended type. so, kalau korang mmg type xtahan pedas mcm aku, mmg suffer sket aa. minum ice blended xbrapa sesuai kot, xmampu kurangkn rs pedas :)

tapi ice-blended dia sedap :) i recommend sour pop with blueberry (dgr nama pon mcm best kan?) but with ONE condition: you must hv SWEET TOOTH :P manis btol geng! aku yg kuat gula pon terasa manis nye, lagi2 bila ais start cair.

APL serves a wider range of drinks. i never really tried many, cos i always opted for air epal kasturi eh, tu secret recipe punye. air apa ek? asam boi wit kasturi kot? (itu kot nama dia. lupa plak! heheh) with traces of lime, honey and asam boi, mmg sedap kalau kene time pedas :) lagi satu drinks yg aku penah try, adalh KOPI 3 RASA (tu pon xpasti namanya, aiseh..) kopi tu mula2 di serve, ada 3 lapisan. jgn tya aku ape bendanya sbb aku pon xtanya. but i figure they shud be a layer of coffee liquid, cream and gula melaka syrup. sape2 yg suka minum cendol, shud try dis one :)

verdict: APL! cos they hav wider range of drinks : korang bleh try mana2 g aku xtry, then bgtau aku. aku leh tambah review kat sini.

so, dari yg di atas, aku rasa korang pon tahu sapa yg better kan? apepun, tu bdasarkan pndapat n tekak aku la :P for those in tangkak n melaka area, go n try them urself. ok?:)

AYAM PENYET AP is situated in TESCO MElaka while AYAM PENYET LIMBUNGAN can be found at Mydin MITC area, or more accurately at KOTA FESYEN, bersebelahan dgn kedai perabot btentangan dgn mydin tu. org kene tgk btol2, cos they have wooden curtain drawns at the entrance. kalau tak ye, mmg xperasan.

ok, thats all for now. c ya later!

blogging tutorial.

2010-08-14T09:25:00.002+08:00

its saturday, yeah.. its weekend and i'm (while writing this) in school with two of my students attending blogging tutorial for newcomers. we are assisted by Schoolnet facilitators consist of 32 local universities graduates.

i believe many of the students in rural areas have yet to know how to do blogging. so, this course is very much practical for them to learn :)

well, didnt have much time to write for now :) got students to attend to :)
till then!

main masak2

2010-06-10T21:04:00.006+08:00

sejak wedding angah selesai, aku mmg mati kutu dok umah. nak jalan2, fulus agak sempit (heheh). nak bukak fesbuk, aku rasa dh nak termuntah asik dok maen game je. donlod game pon dh puas. satu hari 1,2 game aku abeskan. last2 ape pon xtau.

then install tweetdeck, rajin sket aa nk twit2 kawan2. senang, xyah bukak windows byk2. heheh. ngadu kat twit, xtau nk watpe. then A bg cadangan suh bake muffin. heheh. btol gak. lm dah tak wat. last time pon bake cake je. hmm..

okeyla, wat muffin ni senang je. prepare brg, campak2 dlm mixing bowl, pastu beat je. jgn overbeat lak sudah. tak naik lak nnti.

aku terlupa nak amik gambo bahan2 dan proses2 nye, tup2 dah siap masuk dlm cuppies je laa :P

oleh sbb guna cuppies yg sgt besar and aku xmo wat muffs yg besar, so mixture nye aku letak sket je dlm tiap satu :) so dia nye blow tu tak nmpak sbb masih lg dlm cuppies :)

heheh. selamat makan

wedding wedding wedding!

2010-05-30T22:56:00.006+08:00

ZAINI & ZAINI
SERI PELANGI HOTEL BANQUET HALL
MAY 29, 2010

:)

di bawah pohon merimbun, hehe

kawan2 yg suka makan dan suka bergambar!

bersama pasangan pengantin

all pics are credit to encik photographer, dan teman tersayang yg kiut!

"Diantara tanda-tanda kekuasaan Allah ialah Dia menciptakan untukmu isteri-isteri dari jenismu sendiri, supaya kamu cenderung dan merasa tenteram kepadanya, dan dijadikan-Nya di antara kamu rasa kasih dan sayang." (Ar-Rum 21)

THE DAY!

2010-05-30T22:18:00.003+08:00

Haha, mcm xpercaya dah hari ahad. esok senin. as nani had mentioned in her entry, loads of things need to be done in dis last week.
i had to admit that the biggest contributor for this event are angah herself (u go girl!), nani mok! and azhan :)
i'm not really a handy person. all i can do are things like fixing d bulb, paint d walls, hanging d curtains, fixing d wires, etc. all the technical work. menggubah hantaran, jahit langsir, benda2 yg halus dan berseni... zero.
haha, mmg jeles tgk nani dgn angah wat keje hebat. tip top. so, all i had to do now, cuma sumbangan yg sikit untuk supply brg2 yg perlu. tu pon cipoet je :)

alright, tomorrow's monday. seems like several things listed down by nani had yet to be accomplished on sat and sunday, i'm re-editing the tasks starting tomorrow:

ISNIN - HARI CARIK BARANG TAK CUKUP.
1)teman nani cari tudung untuk tunang dan cari sejadah, coklat dan al-Quran tuk hantaran angah.
2)cari tudung dan kasut untuk diri sendiri :) baju untuk abah

selasa - balik sekolah tolong finishing bilik pengantin :) angkat barang pi rumah satu lagi, clear up bilik2 penting

rabu - HANTARAN N INAI. tolong nani setting hantaran dia dan wat hantaran angah sekali siap-siap sementara tunggu fresh flower tiba besok. teman nani n angah pergi buat inai.

khamis - FRESH : hari ni apple tiba. hari membungkus apple. mak andam dah mula bekerja. jadi mandur tak terlatih (thats what i do best!, heheh) monitor tiap satu. khemah pon naik hari ni. malam nye fresh flower tiba. "terus menggubah hantaran, finalise pelamin, bilik tidur sampai lebam.." bak kata nani :)

jumaat - TOUCH UP . pewwit.. pastikan semua nya dah teratur.. yeay!

sabtu - THE DAY!

ahad - I'll sit back and enjoy the day :)

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "ahahaha~ padahal list yang belum dibuat banyak lagi tu. ade tertampal kat pintu bilik. harap nya semua nya teratur je insyaALLAH.."
--> teringat work flow and carta tenaga kerja masa wedding along :) angah n abg dino are the 'org kuat' :) now, angah still the org kuat, tp nani dgn abg jaan jd org kuat juga, heheh

Alhamdulillah..

2010-05-18T20:47:00.003+08:00

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, Most Merciful...

hari ni 18 mei 2010, ntah brapa bulan dah berlalu dari entri yg sebelumnya.. haish :) terasa terlalu byk peristiwa, perasaan, yg ingin diluahkan, tapi tangan tiada bkesempatan untuk menekan pad2 keyboard ni. tambahan pulak pc kat umah dah meletop, dek penangan kilat dan guruh yg menyambar. teringat peristiwa tu, nasib baik sempat dodge, kalau x, arwah agaknya aku time tu. ngeri!

Semalam, sambutan hari guru. yep, hari yg paling gembira untuk insan yg bergelar guru. hehe. tapi hari guru ku disambut dalam keadaan separuh sehat :P dek demam yg kejap on, kejap off, aku tertido dgn sgt bestnya hari ahad malam tu, tanpa gosok baju dan mengemas pakaian sukan. sudahnya, pagi senin, aku terjaga pukul 6 and "ShooT! mana baju kaler merah? baju sukan? argh!" (tema warna merah, dan aku sgt2 aaa xde baju kaler merah. hehe.)dok selongkar lamari, jumpa satu baju merah baik punye, terus sambar dan pi iron. dan 90 peratus siap gosok, tetibe... hissss... baju aku hangus!!!! argh!
kesimpulannya, aku pkai baju merah yg xbrapa glamer (hik hik, sempat lg nk pk glamer) dan zuup! terus pecut 150km ke sekolah. kecut perut jgk bwk laju, tapi aku dh lmbat, nnti kantoi dgn bos mati aku :)

sampai je kat skola, terus check hp, takut2 ade update pape. jap lg.. eh? mana hp aku? alaaaaa!!!! ttinggal! so, end of story bg skala niat nak ber "camwhore" (tiap kali aku ingat word ni, mesti ingat ayien dgn gugu. org2 ptama yg sebut pkataan ni pd aku, hehe)cett.

so, sepanjang hari aku bseronok di sekolah :) berlari main sukaneka macam budak2, heheh. lama dh xbgembira mcm tu. satu benda je aku xpuas hati, sbb xde joget poco2 dgn chicken dance ramai2, tentu lg best!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

dan hari ni, bahana bseronok main semalam, aku jalan mcm robot. hahaha. seb baik bebudak tak perasan :) padan muka, dah tua, xreti2 nak warm up dulu. tak memasal tahan sakit.

sebenarnya, aku tulis semua ni bukan sbb ape, just nak release kan stress dalam kepala ni. journal aku dh lama tak terusik, dh nk bhabuk. ish.. xsehat btol. kene cari benda baru wat hobi ni :)

dan bulan jun ni, adalah bulan kegembiraan bagi aku dan insan2 yg tersayang. seorang lagi ahli keluarga baru akan menyertai keluarga kami. Dan buat sahabat2 yang bakal menyambut khabar gembira; sama ada bertunang, berkahwin atau pun menimang cahaya mata, bergembiralah, bersyukurlah. Allah SWT memberi yang terbaik bagi hambanya yg berusaha, dan sentiasa mensyukuri nikmatNya...

at the very end of my birthday.

2010-03-21T23:21:00.003+08:00

here am i, sitting in front of dis monitor, browsing thru pages of books i'll need for tomorrow. doing my usual sunday nite routine, checking up on necessities for school:
handouts - check. references - check. clothes ironed - not check. bags - check. pens and markers - (urmm, mana pulak ni...) later check. and my saviour-of-the-day; the green skittles (to keep me awake throughout the day) - not check (ala, lupa nk beli).

i am 25 today, and in a few minutes, 25 years and one day :) its not everyday that u r turning 25. and my time will pass soon. i had a great time today, spending half the day with my family, and the other half with the love of my life; faiz fauzan. yea yea, i know i sounded like a hopeless romantic, but i AM romantic. at least he makes me feel like i'm romantic (blergh!)

today, 21st of march 2010 is one day of a kind. i'm not really having a blast, rather a quiet n peaceful birthday. but i loved every moment that passed. text messages, calls and fb's wall posts really made my day :)though i am sad by certain turn of events that leads to uncomfortableness (ada ke pkataan ni? tetibe rasa tak sure plak) deep in dis heart, i am truly and deeply moved by frens that willing to spare a moment of their precious time to convey their warmest wish for me. all these while, i'm having dis thought, gloomy thought that no one really cares, but i was wrong. even if its only for today, only for a minute, i felt like i'm honoured, appreciated, remembered, and loved. really, its the thoughts that count :)

ppl say dat absence makes heart grew fonder. well, i guess it is. kesibukan hidup, bebanan kerja dan tanggungjawab, problems and seclusions, prejudice and misunderstanding; these are some of the things that led us away from each other. day by day. minute by minute. and we thought we dont care.

relationships, fade by time and distance makes us forget people who really close to us. but at times like this, special occasion like this birthday is the kind of time where we seek to rethink our resolves and stands, change our perception and come back to the right track of understanding and conformity. we thought we dont care, but in reality, we do. that is why, simple messages like "Hey, happy birthday mate!" or "u are old!" can really mend the broken heart n then to love again.

i am grateful to you, you and you. You know who you are. thanks for the love, thanks for the warmth feelings you gave on this special day. you will always remembered.

I LOVE YOU.

at the beginning of my 25th birthday

2010-03-21T23:20:00.000+08:00

[Today at 03:18]

alhamdulillah, dah selamat menjangkau usia 25 dua jam yg lepas. and right now, i'm still me, still doing things that i need to do, while silently humming a tune of thankfulness and gratitude to Allah the Almighty for allowing another great year to completely pass, and wishing for His kindness to give me another (hopefully) great year to live.

last year, a great many things had happened, yet again, i lived through it. i've been sad, happy, thankful, proud, down n i couldnt asked for more. few months back, i've been reminded of the fact that there is always a powerful One, which we sometimes forget. The Almighty is always watching His servants, much closer than many of us had realized. i had often forgotten that, while throwing myself in the search of worldly happiness.
i got involved with something that shocked me entirely, where for just dat mere 3 seconds, my life cud hv changed. but Allah has been kind, to let me live for another day. until now.

i guess reaching the age of 25 makes me sentimental and old. :) i am touched and happy with all wishes from dear friends, who never fail to send warmest regards and love from near n afar. its a lie that i didnt shed tears for all these (of course i did, i am a sentimental freak, a crybaby) haha :) its a motivation for me to keep on going, at times where i need hands to hold, shoulders to cry on, and hearts to keep abundance of love.

to all dear friends out there, thank you for all the love and thoughts u've shared.

2009. 2010

2010-01-01T22:32:00.004+08:00

tahun baru masihi 2010 dah pun bermula. sebenarnya tahun baru untuk umat islam dah lama pon bermula, jadi nk kata aku perlukan satu (atau byk) resolusi baru, tak laa jugak. azam atau pun resolusi sebenarnya bukanlaa hanya perlu dicipta, dicari bila tahun baru bermula, tapi bila masa menuntut kita melakukan perubahan, perlukan semangat, perlukan matlamat untuk digenggam sepanjang perjalanan hidup kita..

some people believe that, we have no need of a reason to live. jangan dicari atau dicipta sebab untuk kita hidup kerana, once we lost the reason to live, we died (literally die tu tak aa). ramai orang yg secara tak sedar, live for a person, usually the one they love. tapi manusia akan dan pasti mati; and when the person died, they lost the will to live. slowly they are dying, refuse to see reality and the need to move forward. reality is indeed harsh for certain people, but having the courage and determination to move on, the world becomes a better place to live for one, despite the hardship of life and the bitterness of human.

we may need not a reason to live, but having goals or aims to achieve in life would be essentials to make life more meaningful. sebagai umat islam, kita semestinya berazam untuk berjaya sebagai umatNya yg sejati (as a whole) fiddunya wal akhirah. tak dapat tidak, dosa kecil besar yang dibuat, sedar atau tidak, pasti 'terukir' di peribadi diri, tapi itu bukanlah alasan untuk terus-terusan bersalah pada Yg Maha Mencipta dengan 1001 alasan. berazam untuk memperbaiki diri terus menjadi tekad yg terutama dan sentiasa tunduk dan memohon keampunan dariNya.

2009 pada aku bukanlah satu tahun yg terbaik dan terindah, namun ianya bukan juga yg terburuk. langkah demi langkah diatur dengan sehabis daya, segagah mungkin, menempuh dugaan demi dugaan yg datang menggugat ketenangan yg ada. tahun ini adalah tahun yang mana aku merasai segalanya; the best and the worst, the sweet and the bitter, praises and censures, how i have felt it all, one after another. i have been to the best place and the worst, tasted the bitterness and sweetness of life, 'enjoyed' and 'despised' the company of many good friends and worse foes, seen many great and worst things, and yet at the end, i am still standing, still being who i really am. 2009 was the year where even though i could not held my head high up to the sky, i could not face straight down to earth and being ashamed for what i did wrong. i have regrets, but i'm optimistic and looking forward to the future and improve myself.

again, i'm praying for a good, blessful year ahead, with countless blessings and mercy from Allah SWT. semoga aku terus-terusan mdapat ketenangan dan dijauhkan dari hasutan syaitan dan hasad dengki manusia yg berpanjangan, insyaAllah..*amin*

a day (satu hari ke?) with ma girls!!!

2009-11-24T23:56:00.008+08:00

it was juz an eve wit my sis, going out for shopping a bit, and pizzas to eat! havin lots of fun, (though not as crazy as others) and paling best, i got a nice pair of stilletto!

oh! happy birthday angah sweetie :) have a pleasant, and successful year ahead, amin~~

think twice~!

2009-11-21T19:41:00.003+08:00

as i'm browsing through the blogs, searching for something good to read, i came across nina's untitled entry. this is what she wrote:

"Just keep it to yourself, luv. Because everybody is going to save his/her own ass so there's no use. The relief you feel when you let it out of your chest is short-lived. It's really all too late.

Be more discreet, and you'll be safe(r).

The good thing is, it will make you reassess; think twice next time!"

while reading, the words sank deeper and deeper into my heart and thoughts. i kinda felt a harsh pang! on my face as i went on reading. *sigh* though i didnt know on what grounds she wrote this, but her words are a complete and utter truth. i realized this many times before, but it seems like i'm too stupid to learn from previous mistakes :)

i am a kind of girl who needed a loud spanking on the head from those closest to me to keep me sane and awake everytime i made mistakes and regretted it later (all the time!) i would be sad, humiliated, crazy and stupid-all-the-time, but these few close friends of mine would always remain composed and be patient with my stupidity n always be the ones to kick me at the back and said, "Grow up! really, this time, learn!" time passes by, and i always feel that i'm running out of time. i wanna make amends, but in the end i could only pray to Allah to forgive my foolishness and selfishness...

there are many things in the world i'm afraid of. one of those things is not knowing the time i'm breathing my last breath and die. but what i'm afraid of the most are...

anyway, i'm reminding myself to be more discreet next time. sometimes, things are better left unsaid...

(again and again, to those who care; thanks for all the love and support you've given me... you know who you are.)

la di da!

2009-11-10T22:13:00.003+08:00

wah, skang ni musim hujan dah pun bermula.. sana sini banjir, nasib baik johor tak banjir. lagi. hopefully not. teringat kawan2 kat kelantan dan terengganu, terkena tak tempias banjir. mudah2an semuanya selamat je..

arini aku balik lewat lagi dr sekolah, pukul 4 baru sampai umah, ni sume gara2 mesyuarat akhir tahun SARS1. letih btol meeting lama2, tapi nasib baik tuan haji W ada wat lawak sket last2 tu. heheh, AJK Payung, menarik btol nama tu :)

meeting abes dah nak dekat kul 330, masing2 dah resah atas kerusi. apa taknya, langit time tu mendung je. angin sejuk pon dh start terasa (tipu aa fatin, ko dok dalam aircond, mana rasa angin) bila tuan haji bagi salam je, sume bingkas. aku je terhegeh2 angkut beg. pi naik opis, punch kad dulu. alamak! ada lagi barang tertinggal... alaa..

drive balik arini seronok, tapi scary pon ada gak. seronok sebab ujan lebat, sejuk! scary sbb nyaris2 kete aku nk ke bahu jalan sbb laju, jalan licin (tak perasan meter :P) tapi alhamdulillah, aku slamat gak sampai umah...

dan sbb lain hari ni best ialah.... aku dpt mkn ulam yg lm diidamkan! hehhe, dah lama dok cari pucuk gajus, teringat time bersantap di restoran nasi ulam kat pdg tembak dgn ita n dayah.. sedapnye... sebenarnye, aku dah lupa mcm mana rupe ulam yg aku mkn dulu tu, tp ita kata daun gajus. akak yg bagi aku ulam ni pon kata ni daun gajus, aku pon iyo kan ajo laaa... hehehe. cube korang tgk, betul eh ni daun gajus??

apapun kawan2, hidup perlu diteruskan :) heh. till next time, bye!

(this entry is dedicated to beloved friends who are always supporting me, believing me and have faith in whatever i do. i love you guys, a lot, truly, madly, deeply. You know who you are.)

--C.H.A.S.T.E..H.E.A.R.T.F.E.L.T--

sape kata drama tipu?

2009-11-03T17:09:00.002+08:00

sebenarnya tajuk atas tu mcm takde kaitan dgn apa yg aku nk cerita ni :) aku xkisah aaa korang nk gelak ke, kesian ke kat aku ni.

otw nk pi dewan pagi tadi, dgn keadaan yg tersangat laa mengantuk (tak cukup tdo), aku bjalan laa dgn gaya2 seorang guru yg sewajarnya. hik hik hik. singgah jap kat SAL room, discuss dgn chief pasal work dis weekend. pot pet pot pet... so, aku pon sambung jalan balik.

"Opps! assalamualaikum miss fatin..nasib tak tlanggar." "Waalaikumslm, hah, awk nak pi mana ni? jalan elok2 sket ye.." ada pulak budak ni nk tlanggar aku. ceh. sambung jalan balik...
"Eh? mana miss ni? kejap betul dia turun tangga! br nk tya keje...."

++++++++++++++++ di suatu tempat yg tak berapa nk jauh dr bilik SAL...+++++++++++++

"Lalalala... eh eh! Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!"

adegan seterusnya adalah aku yg dah tergolek dok kat atas lantai, tgh tgk2 sekeliling, ada tak org nampak. "Fuh, line clear. Selamat! aduh....."

ntah, aku pon tak pasti apa yg jadi. yg aku tau, aku tgh nk turun tangga, tetibe je kaki aku jd lemah, mata aku gelap jap. a split second. gedebak gedebuk! serius, aku berguling jatuh tangga, mcm yg dalam drama slalu tunjuk tu. aku tak tipu. masa jatuh tu, tak ingat sakit. tgk line clear tak, bukan apa, malu beb! naseb baik xde org langsung. dah lega xde org, baru aa sakit tu datang. aduuhh... nasib baik aa aku bguling tu ala2 cover sket. takde aa tersingkap mana2 :P dalam pada jatuh tu, seb baik tgn ni sempat nk capai tiang. kalau tak, mau nk sepuluh anak tangga aku tergolek.

kesimpulannya, aku mmg suka jatuh. bukan sengaja pon. dari dulu lg asik jatuh je manjang. bukan nye org tolak ke apa. apa daa fatin :)

ni tgh tuam kaki. apa laa nasib badan. hai...

the first quarter of the moon.

2009-11-02T18:28:00.006+08:00

i walked along the corridor of what seems to be dreams to me, looking for faces that i recognized, but there were none. all, were empty, hollow faces of sins and malice. i shuddered for a while at the thought of how i'm going to end all these...
as i was looking for familiar faces, the gaze suddenly fixed upon a pair of seemingly beautiful eyes...

she continued to run. "DOnt look back! Dont look back!" she urged herself, but the truth was, she really wanted to look back. just a glimpse wouldnt be enough to make her winced, she could not be scared. but no.. she was afraid all right. but she really have to see it. It. was it even right to call it 'It'? she didnt know....

she seemed to be out of breathe now. haha. poor thing, lets stop chasing the frightened kitten for a while. i know a little tag and hide-and-seek would be fun... uummm.. look at those silky black hair... she's so delicious, wasnt she? hihihi..

the eyes, beautiful as it were, had an insignia of evil... i could not avoid those eyes! slowly, i lowered the gaze but just to see a wicked, curly smile upon that tasty lips... something started throbbing inside my chest. is it fear? is it admiration? damn! i must be crazy. real crazy...
all of a sudden, i moved, unwillingly, towards the body of those eyes and lips. advancing slowly to a couple of hands that seemed to reach out for me, not to accept, rather to crawl those little snake-like fingers on the bare arms of mine... i struggled, but i could not stop moving...

while running, she could see a shining piece of metal swaying, side to side, just barely missed an inch from her back everytime she slowed her run to catch her breath. still, she couldnt see a thing other than that shining metal. cold breeze crawling, catching hold of her bare back and neck, making her feel a little goosebumps coming out of the skin, as time passed...

hahaha. she must be mine. those silky black hair.. i wanted to play those hairs. those golden velvety skin... i wanted to lick it. and those vanilla-sweet scent from her back... umm.. i could have a taste at that.. heheh. my skin's tingling just thinking of that...

[copyright reserved - fatin, 2009]

i have felt it all...

2009-10-31T01:14:00.004+08:00

Dh lama tak menulis kat blog ni. walaupun sebelum ni aku dh berazam nk jd blogger yg aktif, nampaknya tinggal azam je la :) life’s so unmanageable, uncontrollable dan segala ‘un’ ‘un’ yg sewaktu dengannya.. Due to all these ‘un’, I almost missed my convocation. For almost a month and a half, I’ve been working day n night and deprived of my rest and sleep. But I wouldn’t want to complaint. Cos what I did were something that I wanted to do, and wished for. But I guess I was too reckless :)

My convocation was scheduled on Sunday, 18th of October 2009. On Friday, the whole fam n I set out for my uncle’s place in klang to attend the ceremony. Unfortunately, jumaat tu aku dh start demam and I was getting a lot worse on Saturday. Masa tu xtau dh nk ngadu kat sape, except for oney n shaffiq. I was desperately clinging to the last energy that I had, just to make sure that I would be able to get up and attend the ceremony, meeting friends and receiving the much anticipated scroll from the PC myself. I had missed the chance of meeting my friends week earlier due to work I did on weekends (I don’t have ‘weekends’ for months!) so I’m not letting go of this only chance. But as much as I tried to hold on, I gave in. last2, mlm tu ibu ‘rendam’ aku dlm air, just to cool down the heat. Masa tu aku pk, mmg xleh bgn jgk aa ni jwbnye.. pasrah dah :(

“Kawan-kawan sume tgh sibuk bsiap agaknya”, aku masih lg berbaring. Nk msg, tapi xsampai ati nk ganggu kegembiraan org len dgn kerisauan sakit diri ni. “Tahan fatin…” last2, ganggu shaffiq jgk, nak ngadu sakit yg tak bhenti lg… (nasib baik pakcik tu sporting) ada kawan yg concern n beri semangat, rasa sihat sket. Tak dapat tidak, “esok aku mesti bgn!” senyap2 aku bjanji dgn diri sendiri.

Nevertheless, Thanks to the Almighty (ibu did a solat hajat out of concern for me, thanks ibu!) I managed to wake up the next morning, feeling nothing but vigor and excitement! Bangun pun dh agak lambat jgk, so kelam kabut sket laa. Tudung ntah senget agaknya, muka tak de aa nk make up pape. Redah je! but seriously, I’m soo thankful to Allah for everything. While singing the song ‘UiTM diHatiku’, I did shed tears (naseb baik xde org nampak). All these years of working hard and playing around, and tears and laughter, had paid off. Seeing all happy faces of friends and crying mums and dads over the children’s achievement, left me almost speechless. “Syukran ya Allah” was the only thing I could say.

Keluar dari dewan, trapped dlm lautan graduan gembira yg masing2 mencari muka2 org tersayang. Siap traffic jam plak. Aku dahle tak bwak hp, tawakal je laa ni karang. Borak2 dgn gugu, (lama btol tak jumpa memet! ) Dlm pada tgh berusaha nk kuar tu, terdengar plak sapaan satu suara yg dikenali kat exit dewan. Aku toleh, terkesima jap (nasib baik dapat cover) what happened after that was history…

18 oktober adalah satu sejarah. Pengakhiran kepada suatu kenangan dan juga permulaan kepada suatu catatan. Humiliation and pride, fear and courage, failures and success; I have felt it all. Neither am I proud nor am I ashamed of what I have been. I’ve been sorry, I’ve been thankful. What awaits me now is another step to take, another mile to go, and another obstacle to conquer…

a moment together..

2009-09-27T20:20:00.005+08:00

skang ni dok lepak2 dgn ney kat xpresso. Jap lagi dia nak balik dah *sigh* aduh, cepat btol masa blalu.. Raya ni terasa singkat sgt, masa yg dihabiskan byk utk travelling je..

By the way, esok dah stat skola. Keje byk menanti, keje2 yg aku tinggalkan demi menyahut lambaian cuti (heheh). Ada modul yg nak dsiapkan, kursus yg menanti, dinner skola, konvo, mcm2 lg.. Yang pasti, aku xkan dapat hangout dgn kawan2 lama sbb maybe aku xdpt join diorg time raptai nanti... Sure as hell m gonna miss them (sorry gugu, sorry bard, aku xdpt kotakan janji aku lg skali)

Apapn, kpd kawan2 tersayang, Selamat hari raya..chak chak pong! (ni faiz yg tulis, sibuk je)

the one I called...

2009-09-17T16:23:00.018+08:00

meja yg telah kemas sebab dah tibe masa pulang! (jgn tertipu dgn skop kamera ye..keluasan meja yg asal telah dicover sebaik2nye untuk mengelakkan pemandangan serabut yg tak sesuai dipamerkan)

jalan2 yang selalunye, dan pastinya sesak dgn lori (wpun dlm gambar ni ade satu je)

haaa, ni la 'bank' kedua tempat saya melabur hari2... RM3.20(pagi) + RM3.80 (ptg) = RM7. CEH...

"Cikgu, nak balik dah?" "Ye, dah lewat ni. Balik dulu..." sempat lagi abg toll ni.

TANGKAK = 29KM = 15min (pagi) / 30min (ptg). jap lagi korang tau laa kenapa.

haah, ni la sbb nye! bila nk balik umah, ni je yg mampu aku tekan. jgn wat pasal tekan lebey, dapat escort + surat cinta lagi kang...

SELAMAT DATANG KE DAERAH LEDANG. ntah kenapa, smpai skang aku masih kekok lagi sebut daerah ledang tu. isk..

haa, setelah hampir 2 bulan lbh (kalu tak silap) aku kat SARS1, baru ni laa aku dpt amik gambar. bukan ape, xsempat. pastu, amik gambar pon bukan boleh terang2, kang budak2 nampak mulalah sebok nk enteprem :) ohye, kalo org len ade letak gambar main gate, aku xdapat nk amik sebb gate jauh nuuun kat bawah bukit. malas nk turun.

haaa, ni jalan naik ke sekolah dari bawah...

yang ni plak gambar yg diambil dari level 4 sekolah. sekolah aku ade 4 aras bukit, yg mana tak lama lagi bakal jd 5 level. penat woooo panjat bukit tiap2 ari...

pape pun, bukit tetap ku panjat jua tiap2 ari :) maklumlah, guru berdedikasi, heheh. oleh sebab tu je gambar yg ade, aku stop kat sini dulu. jumpa lagi!

Merdeka di SARS1

2009-09-02T14:38:00.010+08:00

yesterday was the Merdeka Celebration for SARS1. it was a successful event, with lots of interesting activities around the school involving both teachers and students. though how much i wished to be part of the activities (as participant la, of course) i could only watch from aside. *sigh* aku kene jadi penyelaras untuk semua aktiviti untuk guru2 (yg mana ade 4 acara membabitkan hampir 100 guru)

acara2 semua berlangsung serentak, so basically i have to move around from time to time to observe and help my fellow colleagues yg sgt excited dan bersemangat (mula2 mcm malas2 je, tapi dah nk akhir2 sume bersemangat nk menang) hehehe. kelakar betol tgk gelagat masing2.

well, i guess photos work best to describe these events... check it out:

hah, ni cikgu cikgi tgh bersusah payah buat kolam ranggoli guna beras kaler2. ada gak cikgu ngelat, dh siap lukis dr umah. heheh. lantaklah korang...

yang ni pulak, kumpul cikgu hadi tgh buat layang2. group laen dh lama sampai, grup depa ni mai paling last! bukan sengaja, sibuk uruskan budak2 kat dewan..

yang ni pulak gubahan dr buah2an dan sayuran.. masing2 tunjuk hebat :)

sebenarnya, ada byk lg events dan gambar2 yg menarik nk di'upload', tapi aku tersangat aaa malas nk tggu lama2. so, dat's all for now. ciao!

Teacher, Teacher

2009-08-23T18:49:00.003+08:00

teacher, teacher, don't be dumb!
give me back my bubble gum!

teacher, teacher, i declare,
tarzan lost his underwear!

teacher, teacher, don't be mean,
give me a dime for the coke machine!

-TRADITIONAL

Ahlan ya Ramadhan!

2009-08-22T07:05:00.003+08:00

"SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK. semoga ramadhan kali ini lebih bermakna dan penuh rahmah..."

Mr M : Tq..same wish to you.
Mr I : Tq dear. The same goes to you.
Mdm F : Ya. selamat berpuasa juga n tq sbb masih ingat kcik d cni.
Ili : selamat berpuasa kakak
Q : Same goes to u!
Princess : wslm tintun. sok pose jgn mkn nc greng tghari plak taw
Gugu : Sesiapa yg senang dgn ktibaan ramadan, maka jasadnya dharamkn Allah drpd api neraka..
? : Slamat berpuasa... jgn lupe tarawikh mlm nie...
Awin : Salam. slmt menjalani ibadah puasa n smoga kita mendapat keberkatannya.
Pana : Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa & epi holiday
Abg Izwan : heheh ingat lg ye... tharu plak... selamat berpuasa ye..
Farra : slamat menyambut ramadhan al-barakah. semoga mendapat berkat+rhmat dariNya. Miss u guys a lot.
Paan Girl : Same la kt. selamat b'puasa : )
Laney : anak ayam naik kuda, esok puasa jgn lupa! .... rjn2 g terawih k...
Sanda : selamat berpuasa..
One : Salam Ramadhan 1430H. Maaf dpohon ats segala slh slp yg tlh dlakukan..
k. Ina : ...tambah2 kn la ibadah, smoga diberkati slalu...
Kiyai : SELAMAT BERPUASA!!!!
Hanin : happy fasting month. May d almighty bless us.
Akid : hrap2 awk puasa pnuh thun ni. hehe
Madam : May Allah's blessings b w u & all those u love on the Holy month of Ramadhan & always...
abg nobit : SELAMAT BERSAHUR DAN MENJALANI IBADAH PUASA...
saadah : salam Ramadhan al mubarak..

TESLIAN guys on the dance floor!

2009-08-22T06:33:00.006+08:00

"... the crowd's getting louder and louder. the tension is sure high for the next dance group.. they have yet to announce which group is it after this, but C2 girls would definitely want to see the boys performing on stage since this is quite a rare scene to be able to see them dancing...
on the front, acippa begins the whole choreography with solo performance, followed by bard with his outstanding hip hop (??) dance moves... but the one who steals the limelight seems to be uncle lan, with his back-hand spring to end the whole performance..."

sounds ridiculous? it is! hahaha, ni cuma sedutan yg aku 'amik' dari mimpi aku tadi. tak mungkin budak2 tu boleh dance dgn baik, hahaha. aku dh kenal lama depa ni. dorang bleh menari, tapi taklah sedahsyat yg aku tgk dalam mimpi tadi... heheheh. looks like i'm missing these guys a lot, seeing them in the dreams makes it a lot more like i'm meeting them for real.

hari ni hari pertama puasa, so kepada semua kawan2 TESL Cohort 2, walau dimana jua kalian berada, aku nk ucapkan SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADAN AL MUBARAK. maaflah, tak dapat nk anta msg kat semua orang, xde duit lagi nk bayar bil :)

and at this moment, i'm missing u guys and fasting in kelantan a lot more...

my life as a teacher now...

2009-08-16T16:51:00.006+08:00

assalamualaikum...

lama betul aku tak update blog ni. tak berkesempatan nak menulis :) maklumlah, komitmen sebagai guru menuntut masa dan kosentrasi yang berpanjangan.

Alhamdulillah, buat masa ni, aku kiranya dah 'sah' jadik seorang cikgu kat sebuah sekolah di pagoh, johor. life is not that great, but i'm willing to brave it years more to really feel what it is like to be a teacher. honestly, i do believe that one cannot truly called themselves a teacher, as long as they are not able to understand and 'live' it with passion, and withstand all the obstacles and hardship by being one.

my life everyday begins as early as 530 in the morning. I wake up, and then getting ready to school as lively, cheerful and energetic as i can. at 630 am, i drive to school for about half an hour and arrive at around seven. the journey sometimes can be a bit boring (cause around that time, there arent many cars around the highway except for lorries, and i have to speed past them to avoid getting caught in between) so, only songs keep me company along the way to school.

arriving there, i clock in, and head to the staff room to get ready with books, notes, appearance, basically, with everything before beginning the class. most of the days, i start my first class at around 9 the earliest since i got only 4 periods a day, 10-12 in a week. (at the moment ye! next month tukar jadual lg) i got only 4 classes; 3G, 3E, 4G and 5I to teach. i teach English, civics and arts to these classes and my! what a challenge it is to teach these subjects :) For English, i don't have problem except for finding correct methods to cater for different levels among the students. And as for Civics and Arts, i am completely clueless! heheh. Dulu zaman skola memang tak suka seni sangat2, Sivik pulak masih tak wujud zaman aku skola dulu. *sigh* pening jugak nak ajar tuh!

nevertheless, i try with the best of my abilities to teach my students. my real passion is English, so wherever i go, i promotes the use of english as a second language to my students. many of them ask me how to really like and learn the language without having to struggle or being bothered too much by it. my reply is: "When you genuinely like something, you wont be feeling troubled ot bothered by it at all. try to like English before learning it. you'll be surprised at how different it feels when u learn something u truly like."

i would not want to say that English is easy, but learning something with passion make it way more enjoyable than without one. that is what i believe. i'm not good with English myself, but i'm willing to go to many extent to improve myself on the language. responding to many people saying that English is the language of colonization (i had encountered this once), i think there is nothing wrong with people learning different kind of languages as long as they know what is good for them. The foundation of learning itself is good. so, why must we be afraid of learning if u can improve or benefit from it? those who hide behind this lame excuse of 'language of the colonization' are cowards and losers (pardon my harshness). Rasulullah SAW pun menggalakan umatnya tuntut ilmu, 'tuntutlah ilmu sampai ke negeri China'. so there is no discrimination to what you can or want to learn. just dont lose your faith and beliefs as Muslims.

well, well. i think i wrote enough for now. i really wish to put on some pics like others (it makes the entry more 'attracting' kan?) but i dont have any camera, apatah lagi, handphone ku hanya sebuah nokia 3100 yg lama (tapi penuh jasa!). soon enough, i hope to be able to upload some :)

before that, good luck to all my fellow TESLIAN friends out there. semoga kita semua berjaya menjadi seorang guru yang istiqamah dalam menyebarkan ilmu untuk kebaikan umat di seluruh muka bumi Allah ini. Tabahkan dirimu, cekalkan tekadmu dan kukuhkan azammu, inilah jihad kita di jalanNya. semoga Allah SWT akan terus memberkati perjuangan kita, insyaAllah!

breaking down

2009-08-06T23:29:00.005+08:00

1: "Nmpk...td ats moto. xsmpat nk msg suh tgk... huhu.."

1: "Br blk mkn. ms pg, xnmpk blan. sbb dlm otak trbyg mknn je..haha..smlm ujan.xdpt nk tgk.."

1: "Nape?truk sgt ke level?"

1: "Lek2 dl..jgn r dwnheartd sgt.take tym 2 get 2 noe wut thy like,apa approach previous teacher,etc.mse prac dl, stdnts laen kn...huhu...insyaallah..u cn get thru dis."

2: "Aigo.. Aku rs sbb ko tak cantik kot! Sbb tu bdk2 tanak blaja dgn ko! ;P Tgk aku dgn P***. Berebut2 bdk2 nak srh masuk kelas! Ko mmg b**** yg gagal! Aku rasa ko kna start dr basic la. Cb cr diorang minat apa, pastu guna dlm kelas. Mcm jadikan Naruto sbg maskot dlm kelas ke... Or guna lagu dlm kelas ke..."

2: "Aish! It's too early to give up! Kan kita belajaq mcm2 time TESL dulu. Cb cr balik lesson plan dulu2, mesti ada yg bole guna punya. Ganbatte! Jgn mengalah!"

and as i' about too fall, there are always goodhearted people who believes in me and supported me...

[thanks to 1 n q]

the lesson

2009-08-05T17:57:00.008+08:00

Chaos ruled OK in the classroom

as bravely the teacher walked in

the hooligans ignored him

his voice was lost in the din

"The theme for today is violence

and homework will be set

I'm going to teach you a lesson

one that you'll never forget"

He picked on a boy who was shouting

and throttled him then and there

then garrotted the girl behind him

(the one with grotty hair)

Then sword in hand he hacked his way

between the chattering rows

"First come, first severed" he declared

"fingers, feet or toes"

He threw the sword at a latecomer

it struck with deadly aim

then pulling out a shotgun

he continued with his game

The first blast cleared the backrow

(where those who skive hang out)

they collapsed like rubber dinghies

when the plug's pulled out

"Please may I leave the room sir?"

a trembling vandal enquired

"Of course you may" said teacher

put the gun to his temple and fired

The Head popped a head round the doorway

to see why a din was being made

nodded understandingly

then tossed in a grenade

And when the ammo was well spent

with blood on every chair

Silence shuffled forward

with its hands up in the air

The teacher surveyed the carnage

the dying and the dead

He waggled a finger severely

"Now let that be a lesson" he said

Roger McGough

W.E.E.K.E.N.D

2009-07-31T14:57:00.002+08:00

Haaaaaa~~~
hari ni jumaat, esok sabtu. weekend!
br ingat nk bergumbira, tapi xkesampaian.
esok ade LDP plak sampai tengahari, adoi~~~

tetibe teringat kat...
hmm..

another boring weekend...

nani punye pasal, tambah keje je!

2009-07-27T19:37:00.003+08:00

1)Beside your lips,where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
huh?

2) How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
aku dh lmbat!

3) Who was the last person / people you took photo with?
um? honey kot... ntah, lama dh x amik gamba

4) Would you consider yourself spoiled?
nope

5) Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
um. najib, and dulu ade sorang lg... dulu laaa..

6) Do you want someone to be dead?
xade jgk

7) What does your last text message say?
abes, watpe je mlm ni?

8) What are you thinking right now?
sian muhsin...

9) Do you want someone to be with you right now?
yup.

10) What was the time you went to bed last night?
xingat

11) Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
ntah. pakai bj along

12) Is someone on your mind right now?
yup.. mesti laaa

13) Who was the last person who text you?
en muhsin

Ten LUCKY person to do this quiz.
1-shy
2-gugu
3-zaiqe
4-fuad
5-hazwan one
6-norlee
7-udeen
8-nani
9-orang tu
10-muhsin

14) Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
drong

15) Is no.3 a male or a female?
male.

16) If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good?
shy dgn udeen? muakakakakak!!

17) What is no.1 studying about?
dh abes blajar... kot? lupe...

18) When was the last time you chatted with them?
hmmm.. ade yg baru lg.. ade yg dah laaaaaaamaaaaaaa...

19) Is no.4 single?
fuad? single kot... hahaha

20) Say something about no. 2.
best mate!

21) What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together?
tak pernah jumpa pon...

22) Describe no.9.
refused. point blank.

23) What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight ?
hahah, biarkan aje

24) Do you like no. 8?
adik saya kot~~~ heehhe

25) How about no. 10?
transparent. honest. omoshiroi. heheh

yada yada yada~

chaste heartfelt

2009-07-24T22:29:00.001+08:00

“Saturday mood is in the air. And when I thought I could finally catch my breath, I was again mistaken. Weekends are no longer ‘a pleasurable indulgence’ for a woman with a young heart like me…”

It is only two weeks and already it felt like forever. Life is no that easy and I don’t see it could be any easier if I do nothing. Everything’s trying on my nerves and patience and the only consoling word that I had is ‘patient’. You just need to say it, and it will all seem like a magic, almost too easy to work on.

It is not that I don’t have the first ‘P’ in this way of life, but the second ‘P’ makes it almost difficult for me to go on. Yup, I do have big first ‘P’: Passion to teach. But the ‘P’ number two: Patience gets me all worked up on my earlier days of teaching. I often wonder, why is it Ss nowadays are sooooo in favour of making other people’s lives soooooo miserable, i.e. my life. Why is it that they come to S, to sit on that C, to be in that C if they never had the intention to listen and learn in the first place? Why bother coming to school wasting their P’s goddamn money if they never intended or even don’t give a hell about what happened to them in the future?

Though it’s one logical notion, but I could not understand it. I just couldn’t.

In this very S, there’s a hierarchy for everything, everywhere. You can’t just sit wherever you feel like to, without the danger of being labelled ‘out-of-place’ or worst, ‘big-headed’. It happened to me, today. I did it without realising that I might have been labelled with any of the names I said just now. It has been my own style to sit at the front row in any event (without ‘ganggu’ing appropriate places for any of the ‘orang atasan’) tapi yelah, kita kn org baru, how would I know?!! Shoot.

I realised that the winner of any situation is that those who suka sangat buat keje sambilan tolong kipas2 ni. aku ni maaplah, memang xade langsung skill mengipas. Nk cakap pon tgagap2 lagi. Kata orang, learn from experiences. And that the experiences might be the unpleasant ones, endure it for as long as you think you can.

Dan untuk kesekian kalinya aku pasrah dan berserah…

merapu saja!

2009-07-22T19:12:00.011+08:00

hari ni dah hampir 2 minggu jd warga SARS1. perasaan? jgn tanya. hahaha. apa yg penting, still standing [have to, for at least another 30 more years] aku still sibuk dengan relief kelas yg banyak setiap hari, muak dan buhsan dgn soklan yang aku kira ntah ape2. tak akademik langsung! tak byk guna otak, guna kepala lutut je *geram*

oh ye, akhirnya aku dapat jugak jadual waktu. aku pegang 3 kelas, so dengan adanya jadual waktu ni, aku rasa termaktub laa kot aku berada di sesi pagi :) kira agak senang hati sbb kalo kene pi petang, kene start all over balik. susah gak tu. tapi aku tak mau berharap sgt, just keep ma finga crossed. fuh.

arini sampai umah lambat lagi. nk dekat pukul 3. esok dah nk masuk kelas, ape pun xprepare lagi. SOW apa benda pun aku tak dapat lagi. aduss...

tadi message Gugu. rindu kat dia. ingat wiken ni plan nak pi jenguk fiza kat batu pahat, tapi fuluss plak nggak ada. ceh. gaji oh gaji. [Gugu, bertabah! kita boleh lakukannya!]

sebut pasal gaji, akak2 GSTT tu sibuk ajak aku pi JJ sok. "jom shoppin..." aku tau laa dapat gaji esok. [takpe fatin, sabar....]

i'm waiting for saturday to come, yet again. hope to make up for everything that went wrong last saturday. ney, hayaku kaerimasu! R.I.N.D.U! heheh

aku sedang merangka2 next chapter for d chronicles. ntah bila nk abes. terlalu byk masa berlalu, terlalu byk memori hilang. terlalu byk kemanisan, terlalu terasa kepahitan. shoooooot...

lately aku ade byk benda yg aku masukkan dlm wish list. wpun bday dah berkurun lepas, tapi wish list ni baru je wujud beberapa minggu lalu. [atas dasar 'motivasi' dan 'penggalak' untuk menghabiskan duit. ceh.] saje je nk share. heheh

1] handphone baru (dh btaun2 tak tukar)

2] cake mixer

3] kitchen knives

i dont really hope that people would give me the above three (hehehe) jsut like that, but the last one on my wish list would be possible :)

4] Diary of a Wimpy Kid

hahah. berharap betul. ceh. :P

saya tak punya masa lagi!!

2009-07-17T15:34:00.002+08:00

ceh.
baru brapa ari kerje, dah ngadu tiada masa.
aku ni giler agaknya.
really miss writing something for pleasure.
hope to produce something. soon. i hope so much.

btw,
to my 'bestest' guy muhsin,
welcome to blogging :)
welcome home, welcome back.

penempatan saya dan kawan2 di merata tempat.. UPDATED

2009-07-06T13:50:00.011+08:00

THIS IS THE MOST RECENT UPDATE AFTER MEETING AT JPN IN RESPECTIVES STATES ALL OVER MALAYSIA

JOHOR
fatin - SMK SULTAN ALAUDDIN RIAYAT SYAH 1, PAGOH
gugu - SMK SRI PERHENTIAN, PONTIAN
fariha - SMK TENGKU ARIS BENDAHARA, KLUANG
ayien - SMK DATO' ONN, BATU PAHAT
nirah - SMK TUN ISMAIL, BATU PAHAT
fairus - SMK TAMAN DESA CEMERLANG, JOHOR BAHRU
Pen - SMK SIMPANG RENGGAM, S.RENGGAM
Fuad - SMK SERI KUKUP, PONTIAN
Moon - SMK TAMAN DESA TEBRAU, JB
Awin - SMK TAMAN PELANGI, JB
Sham - SMK MERSING
Fiza - SMK TUN ISMAIL, BATU PAHAT
Dayah - SMK TUNKU MAHMOOD ISKANDAR, SENGGARANG
Ezlan - SMK PERMAS JAYA 2, JB
Paan Girl - SMK
Azura - SMK JALAN JONID, MUAR

btw, kat bawah adalah senarai kawan2 di negeri lain

Kedah
Macha - KULIM
Mando
Bard -
Paan Boy - PULAU TUBA, LANGKAWI
Rafiqi - BALING
Q - PULAU TUBA, LANGKAWI
Kak Ina - SIK
Zel
Azilah
Ain - SIK
Mami
Nadia
Suairah
Che We
Akmal
Azam

Terengganu
Derung - SMK KETENGAH JAYA, DUNGUN
Ayu - SMK KUALA BESUT, BESUT
Mary - SMK BUKIT NENAS, SETIU
Ezita - SMK BELARA, MANIR
Dila - SMKA DURIAN GULING
Sanda - SMK KUALA JENGAL, DUNGUN
FarahNadia - SMK PELONG, SETIU
Juha - SMK PUTERA JAYA, SETIU
Farihan - SMK MATANG, KUALA BERANG

Pahang
Zaiqe
Atiqah
Emah
Hanin

Sarawak
Md. Nor Haliq > Limbang

Negeri 9
Farhana

only He knows..

2009-07-02T07:50:00.000+08:00

I woke up yesterday morning at 6 troubled by news from my sister about a girl’s tragic death in one room at her university (for news, check local newspapers on July 1st, 2009). I don’t know why, but the story about her death kept repeating in my mind to the extent of me ‘visualizing’ the whole thing over and over again. The whole picture was troublesome, though I didn’t see anything or even get near to the scene. I never really affected much by tragic news like this, but this time, it caught me relentlessly.
The girl was found dead in her room due to severe haemorrhage. Believed to be unaccompanied, the girl who was reported to rent the room during the break gave birth in her room alone and suffered a heavy blood loss. Both the baby and the mother did not survive. What more tragic was the fact that they were discovered only two days later by MHS committee after some freshies were complaining about ‘unpleasant smell’ coming from the room. Suspecting nothing, the committee opened up the room only to discover the deceased.
Nani baru je balik dr U** tadi. She shared some of the details of the incident and what has been going on in the university ever since. The atmosphere was affected, and surely this gonna take some times before it will heal. Anyway, at the moment I did not wish to talk more about the details, but to those who read this entry, marilah kita sama2 sedekahkan al-Fatihah untuk kedua2 nya. AL-FATIHAH…

Sesungguhnya, segala urusan jodoh dan maut di tangan-Nya, kita tidak berhak untuk memperkatakan tentang ketentuan yg telah ditetapkan. Apa yang mampu kita lakukan ialah sama2lah kita berdoa semoga Allah SWT mengampuni segala dosa, mempermudahkan laluan dan merahmati roh arwah dan juga untuk kita kelak. Amin.

wohoo~!

2009-07-01T08:34:00.002+08:00

malam tadi pi mydin MITC dgn angah. shopping barang2 aja nak bukak gerai esok :) nk buat ice blended katenye, hehehe. sebenarnya xplan pon nk pi sana, tapi tgh bsiap2 tu angah tetibe je kata "Jom kita pi mydin la nak?" aku pon apa lagi, ok aje lah.. hehehe. put on my jeans and white tshirt, with a cardigan on (nanti mesti sejuk, apa laa fatin) kitorg pon gerak aa dalam pukul 830 tu. xtau aa mydin tututp kul brape, ahhh.. gamble je laa. kalo nk tutup pi aje laaa tesco (aku nk bjalan2 sebenarnya, bosan)
nasib baik xramai sgt org mcm masa mula2 bukak dulu. fuh. sambil2 dok tolak trolley tu, aku dgn angah sempat lg merapu mcm2. kira bajet la, apa la. hehe. sudahnya, barang kitorang sendiri lg mahal dari barang2 ice blended aja :P

balik dr mydin tu, aku selongkar balik almari buku nk cari surat pjanjian biasiswa TESL (ntah mana laa aku letak). tgh2 cari tu, aku terjumpa pulak gambar2 zaman foundation dulu2. heheh. tgelak sorang2 tgk muka masing2 yg kebudak2kan :) nanti la, kalu ade masa, aku upload kan sume gambar2 tu. mesti ade ramai yg tergelak sama.

-peace n 1 luv-

cerita terbaru..

2009-06-28T23:38:00.002+08:00

takde laaa baru mana pon :)

aku dapat posting kat johor, xtau aa mana kene campak.
hipefully tak laa jauh sgt dari rumah. khabar dr kawan2 tentang critical areas in kulai district and also jb really get on my nerves.
bukan ape, jauh gak tu dr rumah. cost of living pon bleh tahan.
um, lain2 khabar gembira ialah ada lebey kurang 12 orang kawan2 TESL bakal diposting kn ke johor jugak,
xtau laa dorang hepi ke x, tapi aku dgn ina penah bergurau2,
"kalu kita sume kat satu negeri, mesti dapat jumpa kat mana2 tournament!"

apapun, untuk sume kawan2, selamat berposting. tabahkan hati, kuatkan semangat.
let us together be GREAT TEACHERS!

an undelivered letter...

2009-06-25T23:36:00.006+08:00

"June 17, 2009:

Assalamualaikum wbt…

Aku baru dengar pasal kau dgn dia. Honestly, aku rasa dia tak layak untuk kau, and you are definitely not for her. I’m not in the position to say anything about this, but plz know that whatever happens, I got your back ok? Buatlah apa yg kau fikirkan terbaik untuk diri kau. Aku harap kau sabar banyak2, tabah kan hati dan redha atas semua yang berlaku. I always believe that Allah SWT would never be unkind to His servants. Allah SWT tak akan pernah menguji dan menduga kita dengan sesuatu yang takkan mampu kita hadapi dan atasi. Have faith, time will heal all the pain. Soon, before you know it.
Kau ingat lagi tak masa kita baru2 kenal dulu? Kau ada bgtau, aku penah pukul kau dengan botol air masa kita tgh orientasi. Heheh. I never believe that i’m capable of doing that. Siyes, aku xingat langsung time tu :P tapi aku tau, I will always do things to those I cherish and treasure (haaa, jgn rasa nk muntah plak. Aku mmg suka wat ayat2 geli mcm ni). Haha! Aku penah minat kat kau, suka kat kau :P aku rasa mcm aku pernah bgtau kau dulu, tapi aku yakin kau tak amik port pon. Kau tau nape tak? Kau ni baik giler, jujur, setia and calm. Susah wooo nak cari lelaki mcm tu zaman ni! Boyfren aku jujur, setia n calm, tapi taklah baik gler mcm ko. Dia degil sket, hahah! Dulu susah giler nk cakap dgn ko (walaupun kau tak sesusah D**. Dia tu dulu langsung tak mau dekat) Aku ajak borak2 pon mcm malu2. heheh. Last2 aku pakat2 dengan d**** nk try ubah ko. Slow2 kitorg cube rapat, ajak kau berbual. Kalau ade pape mesti cari peluang nk buat kau bcakap. Hehehe. Waktu tu mmg paling best bagi aku sbb aku yakin kau akan berubah (and you did!) aku suka kacau boys yang senyap n pemalu :P Tak lama pastu kau pun dah start bergaul dgn orang lain, dah stat ramai kawan. Kira bangga jugak laa tgk effort kitorg berhasil. Walaupun time tu kau takde laa join outing kitorg pi mana2, kau dh byk sgt improve. Skang ni kau mmg dah terlebih maju. Dah tak yah suruh bmesra2 dgn org, kau plak yang make move sendiri (amboi, bukan main lagi ye? Siap berskandal dgn d**** lg, hihi)
Anyway, aku bgtau kau benda2 ni bukan ape, aku cuma nk kau tau... you will always make your way out in this world. Dengan diri kau skang ni, insyaAllah, you’ll always be able to go through everything without losing yourself. Satu dua dugaan pun takkan buat kau jatuh. Kau kuat beb! Aku tau aku tak perlu pon sebenarnya kene bgtau kau sume ni, tapi nak bgtau jugak. Nanti kau kata aku tak concern. Kau pun dah tak rapat sangat dgn aku, so aku banyak tak tau cerita kau. Tau pon kalau ade org cerita.
Aku ni sebenarnya suka tulis surat, tapi skang ni dah xde sapa nk berbalas surat dgn aku sejak ex-bf aku dulu. F rajin baca, tapi tak rajin balas kot. Typical lelaki “tak suka benda leceh2”. Duh-oh! So, aku pun tulis surat kat kau. Skang ni takde mood nk stadi. Tak tau laa cane aku nk jawab test KISSM esok. Mudah2an lulus. Good luck untuk semua kawan2!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Hmm... bila la nk dapat surat posting ni. Cuak gak kalau dapat sabah sarawak. Kau nak pi sana? Aku mcm tempted dgn gaji2 dan elaun2 yg lumayan tu, tapi aku takut aku homesick plak. Lagi satu, aku kecut perut memikirkan yg bila masuk skola baru nanti kita akan pi sorang2. All by oursleves. Takde dah kawan2 nak buat teman berbual, teman ngadu nasib, teman gosip, teman pi kantin, dan teman tumpang bahu nk nangis (macam d**** yg suka menangis). Kalu lelaki mesti tak jadik hal, campak laa kat mana2 pon mesto ok je kan?
Btw, semalam aku, m***, g***, a** dgn d**** borak2, kalau ade masa nak pi tempat kau ujung taun ni. Aku dah lama xpi jalan kat sana, nak gak singgah umah kau. Hehe. Tapi plan je la pun, xtau laa jadi ke tak. Aku ni slalu berkobar2 time plan, tapi bila nk pi manjang je takde duit. Tak pandai urus duit langsung! Um, kau pun kalau ade masa, datang laa umah aku. Kat T****** memang takde ape sangat, ade air tejun je la pon. Tapi kalau kau nk pi J**** ke, M***** ke, singgah la. Brapa orang je pon yg penah datang umah aku : P nanti, kalau aku datang sana, kau kene bawak aku jalan2 tau!
Oklah, aku stop dulu. Kalau ikut kepala aku ni, mau 5, 6 helai aku nak tulis. Tapi nanti tak terlarat pulak kau nk baca. Aku plan nk bagi surat ni lepas kita abes BTN. So, maybe bila kau baca ni kau dah tak jumpa aku lagi. Pape pun, aku harap kita keep in touch and stay friends. Rajin2 la msg aku ye? Kalau lagi rajin, anta aa surat. Hikhikhik. Okay, jaga diri kau baik2.

Take care buddy. Be good, always."

a blissful memory...

2009-06-20T03:36:00.021+08:00

sampai akhir nanti..

2009-06-20T03:13:00.002+08:00

dengan nama Allah Yg Maha Pemurah, lg Maha Mengasihani..

siyes, lama giler au tak update blog ni.
sibuk dgn KISSM, assignment n examnye..
esok, BTN bermula..

skang dh pukul 3 pagi. mata still xmau tutup..
nasib baik ade lappy gugu, pinjm jap baca komik, main game. then, tulis something dlm blog ni.
aku semakin homesick, tahap keparahan yang semakin nyata setiap hari.
semalam di'serang' food poisoning yg nyata menggugat life force aku yg sememangnya tinggal sket. gotta be more careful with what i'm going to eat.

* * * * * * * *
"life becomes clueless each day, and every day i'm walking the groove with an empty hand and a half-filled mind.
i'm juggling my memory to recall things i may have forgotten.
life's geting shorter each day, and i know i dont have much time left to repent my mistakes, or to make up things i've done wrong.
but as people said, "life goes on" and so must i.

i'm counting the days to be with those whom i love so much; those who never fail to believe in me, to understand me, and to lend helping hands to hold, crying shoulders to lean on and tearful yet hopeful eyes to look into...
as emptiness and loneliness surround me, warm thoughts n love of these beloved ones enclosed and binded together this torn heart."

dedicated to Ibu n Abah, lovely sisters, Faiz Fauzan my cherished one, and friends who always be around to stand together and to believe in.

2009-05-29T11:31:00.004+08:00

heheh. i have been tagged again and given award by shy suhAna!! thanks!

Nyatakan 5 fakta menarik tentang pemberi award nie

1] Pemandu bergaya JLN *****
2] like nanie said, she's pretty!

3] dia suka kaler merah :)
4] 'Baby' tu nama panggilan ala2 manja gitu
5] like my twin zaman skola rendah dulu.huhu

Setiap blogger mestilah menyatakan 10 fakta atau hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award yg seterusnya

1] saya suke kaler hitam!!!!!

2] sy takleh kuar umah tanpa jam tangan, cincin dan bangle saya.

3] i loove to eat, i love to sleep, i like to bake and i like watching cooking shows!

4] i have a childish side of me, especially when i'm with him :)

5] i consider myself as a lazy bum and a sleepyhead

6] saya ade cita2 nak jd photographer-cum-journalist! doakan

saya berjaya!!

7] saya suka pretzel, aiskrim, sparkling raspberry, sushi

8] i love daffodils, i like chocs, i love books, i love surprises, heheh

9] i hate sweet talker, i hate liars

10] i am very much in love with mohd faiz bin mohd fauzan!

Anda perlu memilih 10 penerima award seterusnya dan describe ttg mereka :
sila bagi tepukan pade penerima award! *cLap~cLap~*

1] oNe - he's one of my closest friend. muahx!

2] Zaiqe - dia ni ex-KK link 4. sorg yg kelakar. wpun muka nampak blur, tp dia tersgt laa cunning!

3] GuGu - kawan yg kelakar, caring, memahami dan yg paling aku sayang. go mate!

4] NaNa - dia ni kawan skola jgk.. suka gelabah2, heheh

5] Faisal Tehrani - he's one of the most inspiring writer i have seen in malaysia. go faisal!

6] aswad - ko ni mmg aku kagum la. transformasi yg sungguh ketara selepas bertaun2 tak jumpa!

7] mary - kawan tganu saya yg baik hati! tapi kdg2 dia laser wooo~

aku tak tau nk bg sapa lg. len kali eh! daa~

lets bake!

2009-05-22T13:47:00.011+08:00

hmm..

lately takde pape nk buat kat umah.

jaga myra, online, jalan2 amik angin.

bosaaaaaaannnn~~!!!

honey pon dah tak tau nk ckp ape, asik jd tempat luahan perasaan je, heheh.

(thanks for being there, Muahx!)

so, jd laa projek dgn nani. kalu dh dgn nani, kalo xmenjahit, memasak ler jawabnye. so, considering aku mmg tak suka dan xberapa hebat menjahit, aku join aa dia buat kek.

dia buat kek pisang, aku join venture sket dgn adik dgn nani buat bun kentang. (untuk resepi kek pisang dan gambar, tgk sini)

haaa, ni custard yg kita nk guna wat layer atas bun tuh. alaa, adunan dia mcm kita buat untuk filling cream puff tu :)

ni rupa doh yg disusun dlm loyang. advise aku pd korg, susun rapat2, baru laa bun naik cantik, hehe (tips amik dr ibu)yang ni doh yg dah diletak custard. korang mesti cam kan bun ni kat kedai2?haaa, ni masa tgh masak dlm oven. nampak x dia naik?

okay, this is the end product. aku sibuk tgk tv sampai terlupa bun ni dlm oven. tu yg jd hangus sket tu. heheh.

hmm, buat bun ni jek nk dkt half an hour. tapi, dlm 10min jek dah selamat dlm perut. hehehe. sempat bg honey rasa sket.

ok, lastly, credit to nani and ibu 4 being an excellent baker, cant wait to do more recipe soon!

well, for recipe, here are the ingredients for making potato bun:

250 gram tepung roti/tepung high protein
70 gram kentang yang telah direbus dan dilenyek baru ditimbang
120ml susu segar (bancuhan susu pekat manis ataupun susu kacang soya pon boleh.)
2 sudu besar susu tepung
2 sudu besar gula
2 sudu besar marjerin
4 gram yis ( 1 sudu kecil)
1 biji telur (dipukul sedikit)

(untuk bancuhan sos kastard )

2 sudu besar tepung bird custard
1 cawan susu segar
2 sudu besar gula

reading pride and prejudice and sipping hot peach tea...

2009-05-20T13:09:00.003+08:00

today, i spent most of my morning time reading jane austen's pride and prejudice. lama dah x beromantika dgn novel2 klasik, hehe. bila depressed, one of the cure is reading Mr Darcy and Miss Bennet's romantics :) simple enough a method, hahha.

few weeks of holiday at home do not really provide me with much entertainment. i dont watch TV (just 4 d news). i read books, watch anime and read books again. comforting enough 4 me to avoid idleness. Mornings on weekdays i spent with Myra, my cute lil niece (she's growing up fast, ooohhh...) well, babysitting isnt something that i'd love to do, but spending ur time with lil baby like myra surely a good way of practicing ur domestic skills. heheh. bagi susu (susu botol la!) bagi makan, main2, changing nappies, and the list goes on. all in all, i'm a loving aunt! hehehe

once or twice a week, would be my time with Faiz. we would spent some time together for a cup of coffee or watching movies. kalau x, we would just drove around town, borak2 sambil tgk2 karenah org. for this, we spent merely half to one hour before saying our goodbyes. though distances between us arent dat great (dekat sgt!) but we hardly see each other. love ya!

finding my own serenity and peace..

2009-05-14T00:45:00.001+08:00

nothing much i can do right now..
the places i used to find my own peace no longer peaceful to me..

i'm gonna make my way..
to find a new place on my own...

Wedding Murniza

2009-05-11T14:36:00.010+08:00

haa... akhirnya aku jumpa gak cable camera angah ni. barula dpt amik gambo cik mun kawen aritu..

time ni, sume org dok melepak kat tempat mkn (tak senonoh betol, buat mcm umah sendiri) masing2 pegang kipas (Bard, u amik kipas i~!!) so aku dgn fuad, mary n bard pon amik kesempatan amik gambar...

these are some of the girls that came to the wedding, from clockwise: maya (hidden sket), fara nadia, aku, gugu, paan girl dan azura.

haaa, ni time kat depan pelamin. tggu cik mun tak siap2 lagi, kitorg sempat posing2 dpn pelamin. si acippa bengong tu tipo aku, cess.. (nanti ko!)

haaa... ni la murniza, si pengantin nye.. kebetulan tema kaler merah, same lak dgn bj aku pakai. tak tau pun, kebetulan jer.. heheh

bard sempat buat lawak dgn cik mun. heheh. muka ceria je sume org..

haaa... ni plak gambar kami sume dgn cik mun :)

tu cik mun dan mus, selamat pengantin baru. semoga berkekalan sampai akhir hayat. cepat2 laa dapat anak :)

dan untuk kawan2 lain: jangan lupa ajak konvoi ramai2 ye untuk wedding seterusnya --> Maya (Julai) dan Azura (November) insyaAllah!

Tag!

2009-05-07T01:30:00.004+08:00

Okay, aku di'tag' oleh Cik Nana and Cik Mawar Berduri, so ni cube jawab ye.. heheh

1. Anda rasa anda hot?
Hot stuff?!!

2. Upload gambar kegemaran anda

3. Kenapa anda suka gambar itu?
happy time dgn bf kesayangan~!

4. Bila kali terakhir anda makan pizza?
2 hari lepas (kalo xsilap) dgn Faiz~!!

5. Lagu terakhir yang anda dengar.
After School - Ah

6. Apakah yang anda buat selain selesaikan tag ini?
tgh pk apa nak makan pg2 buta mcm ni...

7. Selain dari nama anda sendiri, anda suka dipanggil dgn nama apa?
um? awak kot..

8. Tag lagi 6 orang dengan hati yg terbuka tanpa rasa kekesalan. Sila lakukan kalau tak kena denda mandatori.
-1) honey

-2) Shy

-3) Nana

-4) aswad

-5) One

-6) Gugu

9. Sape no.1 kpd anda?

hehehe...

10. Bagaimana plak dgn no.3?

dia ni mmg peramah, hehe. woi, komen yg mana aku tak jwb??

11. Kata sesuatu berkenaan dengan org no.5?

teman berbicara, teman sejiwa, teman gaduh, tempat lepas geram, hhehe

12. Bagaimana pula dgn org no.4?
um. dah bertaun2 tak jumpa, since darjah 6 lagi. weh, ko laen gler skang..~!

13. Siapakah org no.2?
pemandu bergaya JLN 2010. heheh. bila nk bawak aku?

14.Bagi pesanan kepada org no.6?

memet~! rindu ler!!!

dah, aku nk pi mkn, lapo~!

TESLIAN: PART 1

2009-05-05T10:42:00.011+08:00

Untuk entry kali ini, aku nk bercerita sket ttg kawan2 aku sepanjang 6 tahun aku belajar. So basically, ianya pasal kawan2 TESL aku la ni.
In every place where many people meet, there’ll always be a tendency for people to seek for others of their own kind. Its not bad at all. dan aku rasa aku xlah rapat sgt2 dgn sape2 atau pun terlalu renggang. Biasa2 je kot... kat sini, aku try nk cerita pasal 49 org Teslian mates aku from my own perspectives. So, harap2 aku x bias (wpun ianya sgt sukar dielakkan) tapi untuk entry ni, aku akan citer pasal beberapa org dulu k?
Ok2, enough of dat. Lets begin:

Rumet & osmet aku selama 4 tahun,
Hazrina Mohd Hashim aka Mate aka Gugu aka Boncet!

(heheh, sori met, saje tambah)

Seriously, of all people I’ve met in this whole life, I have never met such a positive and open-minded person as her. Gugu ni natural, dia xpenah buat pasal atau buat org nk cari pasal dgn dia (at least, itu yg aku rasa laa). She’s smart, intelligent, lampi sket kdg2 tapi ‘maju’ dalam baaaaannyyyaaaaak benda yg aku plak lampi (cess…). Truthfully, she’s the only person I’ve always feel good about. She doesn’t brag, either about herself or others and she’s always stand steady on the ground. She’s good about facts and trivial things like calculations (obviously dia 2, 3 level lg cepat dr aku) and she’s good in applied phonetics (jeles!!!) Aku respek dia ni sbb dia pandai jg hati org lain, and she has subtle way of telling you things that u might not want to hear (the truth!)
Satu je benda pasal gugu ni; dia kurang alert sket psl handphone dia. Kalo korg bg msg kat dia pagi, ade possibility mlm nanti br dia bace, hahaha. Takdelah, aku main2 jek. But she is crazy about the internet, I guess :) lagi2 masa final sem ni, satu hari xngadap tenet, xlengkap aa idop die.

Gugu ade boyfren, nama dia drong. Tapi aku akan citer pasal dia nanti :) anyway, kalo korang tgk gambar2 kat atas, korang mesti dpt tgk betapa ceria nya makcik ni, heheh. She definitely has a good aura around her. Go memet!
Satu lagi yang aku jeles kat gugu ni ialah, dia scorer and she does not really have to work like crazy to get good marks. Dia kata kelemahan dia adalah literature (which I claimed to be my specialty, duh~!) tapi takdelah teruk pon. Best je score ko tiap kali, ape la!
To gugu: thank you so much for everything. Ko mmg best, aku sayang ko! Serius, aku akan rindu masa2 yang kita share selama bbrape tahun ni. Memet, sorry kalo aku ade buat pape yang menyinggung perasaan ko. Tq again!

Noor Fariha Yahya aka MemeTT aka Nona!

Haa, yang ni sorang lagi ex-rumet and osmet aku for a couple of years. Dia laa yang mulakan panggil aku memet (dgn satu T, dia 2 T atau pun the other way round) sampaikan masa kat shah alam pon ade bdk2 INTEC yang nampak aku panggil aku “memet, met!” sbb terpengaruh dgn si fariha punye ajaran (ceh). Minah yang sorang ni mmg agak sukar untuk dipahami, especially pada orang mmg jenis yg tak sabar dan ade angin sket. Tapi, bila kau dah kenal, dia ni takde la payah mana pon :) kan memett?
Fariha ni same gak mcm si gugu, stok minah buku n scorer (apsal aku je yg tak score ni?) and like gugu, though minah buku, tapi takde laa nerd pon. dia ni study ikut angin dia, hhehe. Hobi dia ialah bukak lagu kuat2 and once dia dh jumpa lagu atau citer yg dia suka, dia akan bukak byk kali, hehehe :) cerite kegemaran kami ialah HARRY POTTER! Hahah, asik tgk citer tu sampai aku dgn dia dah boleh hafal skrip :P

Satu lagi hobi si nona ni ialah tangkap gambar org guna hp dia. Aku rasa gambar aku pada dia je dah nak dkt ratusan agaknya. Serius, minah ni mmg rajin amik gambar :) slalu gak tlg aku anta mms kat buah hati terchenta, hikhik. Maklumlah, hp saye tak canggih :( in fact, gambar kat atas nip on guna hp dia, haha. Korang tgk muka dia, mmg muka suka amik gambar kan? Hehe
Final year ni aku tak spend masa sgt dgn dia sbb dah tak dok serumah. Jumpa kat kelas je, tu pon kejap2 jek. So terasa rindu jgk pada masa2 gembira dok serumah buat keje giler dulu, hehe.
To Nona: You are difficult, you are funny, you are childish but you are my friend. Tq for everything!

Nurhidayah Awai aka Dayah aka Che Yaya

Ni dayah, kawan aku yg manja, kuat merajuk, degil sket, baik hati, unpredictable dan mcm2 lagi :) makcik ni mmg laen dr yg laen. Dia mmg ceria, tapi jgn laaa kacau dia time dia tgh angin. Ko nk tgk muka dia pon xmau, heheh. Mcm aku ckp tadi la, dia ni unpredictable, mmg susah nk agak ape yg dia leh buat. Aku baik dgn dia dah lama gak aa, kitorang jd partner in mischief dlm misi ‘merosakkan’ Asif. Hehehe. Aku rasa, boleh dikatakan sbb kitorg laa asif jd peramah :P
anyway, dayah ni bukan saje manja, tapi dia ni ade kuasa ‘memujuk’ yg tersangat laa power. Asif mmg slalu cair dgn dia (ops!) Dayah mmg suka berborak, especially dgn makcik2 tepi jalan yg kitorg stop sbb nk tya direction (yg patutnya 2 minit dh beres, tp disbbkan dayah ajak borak, jadik 10 minit!) another thing about her, dia suka ganti hp dgn yg paling canggih. Jeles btol! Dayah ni pon sensitive, suka nangis. Kdg2 asif pon pening, tya aku apa kene dgn minah ni. Tepon2 je tetibe nangis (dia terasa laa tu asif)
To Dayah: You spiced up my life (sbb ko kelakar, heheh) Thanks a lot for everything buddy!

Mohd Shaffiq Zainol Abidin aka Q

asalnya aku dgn Q ni takde la baik mana. AKu rasa dia ni pelik, suka moody2 tak tentu masa. tapi aku respect dia sbb pada aku dia bijak. dan yang paling penting, dia jujur dgn aku. aku tak tau la kalo apa yg aku bgtau dia, dia jaja kat org laen, tapi dia laa antara org2 g aku percaya and slalu share masalah. he's good in the sense that he told you things u dont wanna hear, and its like a wake up call to u (the truth beb). dia ni far from romantic, ape tah lagi gentleman. tapi pada aku at least dia tak berpura2 suka apa aku buat wpun dia xsuka.

Q ni suka sgt2 mengata aku. "fatin, ko gemok! Pompuan banci!" mcm2 lagi la. hehe. siyesla, antara org pertama yg aku rindu bila balik umah time abes aritu adelah dia. ops, bukan skandal ek? aku rasa, aku boleh la kata aku antara org yg memahami dia :P (ceh, poyo jek)

Q: thank u for all ur support, help and advice especially when i'm down. u really are a great fren!

to you.

2009-05-01T09:33:00.001+08:00

i'm glad everything turned out well.
u are safe now, and i hope soon u'll be fine and healthy, yeah~!

tk care,
get well soon!

It’s a Wednesday blues..

2009-04-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

I got weird dreams lately. Selalunye aku cuma mimpi 2,3 kali setaun, tapi kali ni byk pulak... Sumenye mimpi pasal kawan2, yg pada aku macam satu hint or a kind of foreshadow (which I hope not) of what is about to happen.

Can’t remember the details of each dreams and respective people involved, but I do remember this one particular dream about my best friends. I can’t really understand the meaning, but I don’t feel good about it. It is something about him going away to Europe and stuff. Bukanlah maksudnya secara literal yg that person akan pi eropah, tapi it means that he’s going away, far… hmm, I do hope that both of them are doing fine there…

Arini rasa tak sihat, sakit perut je. Mcm kene food poisoning jek. Apa ek aku mkn mlm td? Adoi… tak suka betul..

Think I need an ORS. Penning off for now. Ja.

ari yg xbest lgsung..

2009-04-25T19:52:00.001+08:00

ok..
hari ni dah la penat, xde mood..
pastu kete plak kene langgar!
argh~!!
duit lg..

benci, benci, benci~!

in reference to 'the bitches went haywire' and 'its another wonder...'

2009-04-23T20:15:00.002+08:00

friends,
i am truly sorry for what i have said.
yes, it was very wrong of me to say such insensitive thing.

i would offer no further justification for this;
just to clarify, those were written without any reference to anybody.
i'm sorry to hurt anybody out there.
the regret is mine to bear.

at the end of this life,
i would wish to heal the breach.

untuk semua yang berpayungkan nama Cohort 2 TESL... Part 1

2009-04-23T20:04:00.005+08:00

6 tahun sudah pun sampai ke penghujung nye..
kita takkan pernah menyangka, apa yg kita lalui selama ini mpunyai satu titik, tapi itu bukan satu noktahnya pada apa yang kita pegang, apa yg kita percaya, dan apa yg kita perjuangkan..

6 tahun kawan2, bukan laa satu jangka masa yg mudah untuk kita pandang dengan sebelah mata.
6 tahun juga bukan satu masa yang mudah untuk kita lalui...
terlalu banyak pengorbanan, tangisan, ketawa, penat lelah yang kita berikan..
kita kawan, kita lawan..
kita ketawa, kita menangis..
kita menang, kita kalah..
kita bangun, kita jatuh..
semuanya kita lakukan bersama..

kepada kawan2 TESL Cohort 2:
terima kasih untuk segalanya,
maafkan untuk segalanya,
kenangkan semua,
abadikan semua..

kepada kalian yang pernah menjadi kawan dan masih kawan;
terima kasih untuk segala yang pernah dikongsikan bersama..

kepada kalian yang pernah menjadi lawan, dan kini kawan;
aku berterima kasih untuk semuanya..

dan kepada kalian yang pernah menjadi lawan namun kini renggang;
maafkan atas segala keterlanjuran kata.
amarah ternyata sia2,
gembira jadi duka.
aku harap segalanya dipermudahkan untuk kita,
dan ketemu bersahabat semula.

groovy retro!

2009-04-14T16:35:00.002+08:00

mcm ni la..

2009-04-14T16:20:00.002+08:00

aku admit, at times i can be cruel.
the trusting nature of mine of led me to believe everything that i see and hear.
i cant bear any more betrayals, that is why i acted the way i did.

the spontaneous nature of mine led me to do things i wish to do at that time,
but not anymore later.
i cant stop myself, that is why i did what i had not intend to do.

the secretive nature of mine makes me keep everything to myself,
but not when everything's bottled up inside and i juz have to let it out.
i cant stand it anymore, that is why i poured it all out.

i never asked for others to understand me cos i myself sometimes did not understand others.
mistakes had been done, no more explanation to offer.
i did what i think i had to do, and no longer i care.

just one thing:
never ever trust what others told you about your friends.
they can be very deceiving.
often u know the truth, but u let their lies eat u up inside.

that is what happened between us.
sorry for not confronting u, i am not the person with the courage.

God forgive me, but I'm not sorry any longer.
believe what u want to believe,
i'm holding no more grudges against u.

ketakwarasan pada ku.

2009-04-09T23:14:00.002+08:00

ketakwarasan pada ku
membuat bayangan mu selalu ada
menenteramkan malamku
mendamaikan tidurku..

ketakwarasan padaku
selimut tebal hati rapuhku
berkah atau kutukan
namaMu yang akan ku sebut.

ketakwarasan pada ku
membuat hidupku lebih tenang
aku takkan sedari
bahawa kau tak lagi disisi..

aku mulai nyaman
berbicara pada dinding kamar
aku takkan tenang
saat sehatku datang.

"suara hati takkan mati,
jika jiwa terus menari dan bermimpi..."

when the day is raining...

2009-04-09T22:48:00.003+08:00

it's raining, and i could not be any happier :) sape laa x suke time sejuk2 cani, best je tdo. tp yg xbestnye, aku xdpt tdo, tapi stuck dlm kelas dgr lectures... (sigh)

skang aku tgh dengar asif present LCA, ntah amende die merapu kat depan. heheh. well, i suddenly remembered my conversation with LPG about my ambition. she's so positive that she responded to it in quite a way that i would have not expected of her to say it.

for me, everyone deserve a second chance to improve themselves. people should not always be judgemental. as for myself, i'm learning slowly to train myself not to be blinded by hatred and prejudices. think of the bright side, and u'll be surprised as what it can do to others, miraculously.

but then again, its part and parcel of life.

ash, 1245hrs.

it's time to head for the finale...

2009-03-22T03:18:00.002+08:00

lalalala...
dah pukul 3 pagi, dan aku masih lg di dpn pc ni.
ceh.
kul 10 nk gerak balik dah, boooosaaaaaannnnnn..............
siyes tak bersemangat nk balik.

dan seperti kebiasaannya, cuti adalah sebenar2 cuti untuk aku.
menumpukan sepenuh perhatian dan fokus pada proses hibernasi :P
hahah, takde aa btol2 berhibernasi, tapi mmg xde istilah kerja dlm otak.

AE semakin membimbangkan, and the usual me couldnt be bothered at all to finish up things.
memang teruk laa ko ni fatin!
one week left, starting tomorrow, it is the final frontier;
whether or not i'd be able to graduate with flying colours, i have to decide for myself.
geez, chapter 4 and 5 arent that easy to deal with.

okay, no use to whimper about things now;
goodbye home, hi ya IPKB!

it's my day..

2009-03-21T02:41:00.014+08:00

1.Honey
"....Slmt hr lahir...
Smoga tercapai apa jua yg di inginkan...
i love u so much.."

2.Asmalia
"...Hepi bday yg ke 24. Aku masih 23 tau. hehe... Smoga ko sntiasa drahmati Allah... Smoga cpt smpi seru. Hehe..."

3.Akmal
"...Selamat hari lahir, semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki. Bahagia selalu dan tercapai semua wish list..."

4.One
"Happy birthday cik Tintin...makan byk2 sket.da kepeng sgt tuh.nnt angin tiup melayang plak.huhu. May ALLAH bless u 4 eva. smoga brbahagia sntiasa..."

5. Family
"Selamat ari jadik!!!! esok pi dating ek? hhehehe....." <--call dlm kete :)

6.Najib
"Selamat hari jadi.. Happy birthday to u..." <-- dia nyanyi lg!

7.Che Ril
"Hye che fatin...wanna wish u happy birthday... may god bless u always...congrats! u r 24 already...heheheh..."

8.Udeen
"anyway... heppy bufday buddy.. selamat panjang umo murah rezeki..lekas2 kahwin.. member sorang tu da pening2 dah tu.. ngeh3x... "

9.Abg Nobeat
"Selamat ulang tahun ke... 24..."

10. Aida

11. Ezita

"Hapy birthday fatin, older n wiser u r nw... hugs n kisses mate, thru gud n bad... muahs..."

12. Ebil "happy birthday che' tin!!!semoga hari2mu akan datang lebih bermakna dr hari2 yg lepas.celebrate ngan abg kat mane???gossip mari!kisses n hugs!"

13. Nadot "happy burfday gurl;)"

14. Oya "Epib'day fatin... Haha.."

15. Gugu "Memet, hepi 24th bday! Welcome 2 the club..."

16. Ain "Slmt ari jd. smg pjg umo murah rezeki"

17. Etok "Alles Gute zum Geburtstag..!!!"

18. Esya "Happy Birthday Fatin! My prayers n best wishes be with you~ have a nice day ah"

19. Azilah "Fatin...happy birthday...semoga pjg umr n mrh rzki...tcare.."

20. Muhsin "asal la org2 tua makin tua ni? hari tu din, skrng ko lak, hahabtw happy beday!!"

21. Shy "Slmt menyambut ulang tahun yg ke 24. teruskan jihad menuju redha-Nya!"

22. Abg Izwan "Hepy Besday cikgu Fatin...sebaya kita rupanya...moga panjang umur murah rezeki cepat jodoh..calon dah ade tu..huhuhu ."

23. Farra "sahabatku fatin, happy birthday! first of all, i love u, i really do it juz that i do not get the chance to say it out loud. but we always understood each other, that's what makes our frenship special. wishin u all the great n happiness in life. May Allah bless u wif his great blessings... may our frenship last forever my dear!"

24. Hyder Marjon "Epy Birthday kak Fatin...gud in life..and God bless... "

25. Shahira n Hidayu of SMKBP

26. Yusoff Shariff "happy bday.."

27. Sofi C5 "wish u a Happy Birthday, I wish u a Happy Birthday and may Allah bless u..=) (sang with xmas tone..=p)"

28. Elee Nabilah "happy birthdayyy kakak"

29. Ahfat C5 "hepi bfday mkcik fatin...smoga pjg umor n murah rzeki ye...kalo da murah rzeki nati bleh la blnja mkn kfc...huhuhu... =p "

30. Alia Mustaza "kak fatin! happy birthday ;) have a great one"

31. Azra Mddin "happy birthday~"

32. Appy "Happy belated bday fatin..." (padahal lg seploh minit nk tukar hari, ceh...

33. Mysarah "....Aku mahu menjadi insan terakhir mengucapkan hari lahir buatmu... muahh3x! hik2 ^_~ All d best 4 u dear..."

Thanks a lot guys~!

the wish list.

2009-03-20T19:02:00.002+08:00

i wish, throughout this life for...

a good, blissful years ahead...
a healthy body and a clear, conscientious mind...
a happy, contented life with my family and friends..
a true love, blessed by Allah SWT..

a glimpse of lights...

2009-03-20T01:41:00.002+08:00

first of all, i would like to congratulate Afiza n Shamil for the newborn Haqq :)tahniah for the new addition to the family, hoping to see more in the future.
well, well..rasa terharu tgk kwn2 satu persatu membina keluarga masing2.tak sangka ramai dh jadi ibu ayah, masa berlalu dgn pantas.serasanya mcm baru je abes skolah, heheh.asmalia faizal dgn amsyar, afiza shamil dgn haqq (baby boy je sume ni)n maybe ramai lg yg aku tak tau.

alhamdulillah, aku tumpang gembira, malah bersyukur padaNya atas rahmat yang aku kira rahmat bersama sekelian Muslimin muslimat seluruh alam ni.ada rakan2 yg baru melangkah setapak dlm alam perkahwinan, barangkali akan mengikuti langkah ibu2 ayah2 kita ni.dan pada yg belum lg berumahtangga pon nampaknya dah teruja nak dpt zuriat (ebil laa yg paling obvious skali).bukan nk mengata org je, aku sendiri terkena tempias :) serius, tgk kwn2 dapat baby ni rasa mcm nk jgk dpt baby.pada hal tak tau aa dh ready ke tak nk pikul tanggungjawab yg besar tu.

aku teringat time chatting dgn asmalia, dia beria2 suh aku kawen cepat."aku xkira, ujung taun ni ko kene kawen jgk! amsyar tak ade kawan nk buli.."aku tergelak besar bila bc benda ni. kalo lah ko suh aku kawen, dpt anak so that anak ko leh buli anak aku,aku akan pastikan anak aku buli anak ko balik tau! hehehe..
tapi hakikatnya, bukanlah aku xmau kawen lg... aku rasa kawan2 TESL aku dh naik berdarah telinga dengar aku ckp nk kawen :P tapi tu lah, belum ade rezeki lg..
aku yakin, Allah telah menentukan suatu jalan, suatu arah untuk aku... dan mungkin belum waktunya...tiap masa aku berdoa, semoga Allah SWT permudahkan segala urusan untuk aku mendirikan rumahtangga dan menimang cahaya mata aku sendiri.(wah! aku dah pasang angan2 sendiri!)dan as, mungkin kau pun leh doakan aku,manalah tau, insyaAllah ade rezeki ujung taun ni, dapatlah ko merasa mkn nasik minyak aku,dan mana tau setaun pastu dapat la anak ko geng nk bermain~!

>>kita hanya merancang, Allah jua yg menentukan.
dan untuk kesekian kalinya,
aku redha atas apa jua kehendakNya....<<

the happiest, the newly wed

2009-03-16T19:20:00.009+08:00

Selamat Pengantin Baru~!

Hehehe. Yeah, yeah. I think u guys already knew bout this, our friends Kak Rah and Din selamat dh berkahwin :) tahniah untuk kedua2 nya. Semoga jodoh korang berpanjangan, dan hubungan yg dibina dirahmati Allah sehingga ke akhirnya, amin~
Aku pi jap ptg dorg nikah tu, wpun dlm keadaan yg xbrape proper laa.. heheh. Mana taknye, org pakai bj kurung, aku pakai jeans. Actually, aku xberapa sehat ptg tu, xplan pun nk pi. Tapi, disebabkan esok tu faiz xdapat nk teman, aku ajak laa dia pi tgk2 umah nirah ari jumaat tu. So, nanti aku pi sorg tak la sesat :) (wpun aku doubt aku akan sesat)
Sampai je kat umah nirah, dorg dah selamat nikah pun. Kebetulan paan girl dgn dayah sampai waktu yg sama dgn udin, aku dgn faiz pun pi laa jenguk jap.. hehehe.
Needless to say, both bride n the groom were very happy. Below are some of the pics I took dat eve:

ni banting kat entrance umah kak rah, heheh. xsempat nk dok sebelah :)

pengantin lelaki yg tersenyum (senang ati, dah selesai~!)

singgahsana sang mempelai.... (betul ke guna sang ni?)

kak rah: "Saya dah jd Puan, heheheh" (konon2 je tau!~)

Well, untuk hari persandingan, aku xamik gambo sbb xbawak camera. So, xde pic pun :( tp xpe, best sebab dpt kumpul ramai2 raikan majlis n dpt mkn byk, hehehe.

Last but not least, SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU UNTUK MUNIRAH N AZAMUDIN~!

haa, ni gambo saye la! *wink2*

tired.

2009-03-06T06:49:00.003+08:00

duh~

it's 650 am, n i havent sleep for hours now.

not the usual 'sleepyhead' me, heheh.

mlm td aku teman dayah kat umah, n wpun plan nk tdo,

tp aku xtdo pon.

mesti aku pengsan jap lg :P

apa nk mkn ek pg2 ni, lapar plak.

um, sebut pasal lapar ni, aku teringat plak.

mlm td timbang berat,

ingatkn effort mkn byk selama ni bhasil,

tp tidak...

berat aku masih lg mcm tu, bahkan turun lg.

bukan tak bersyukur, just trying to gain more weight.

nanti taklah "uit akak~! mcm org sakit je!" (ni sume ayat nani, cess~)

nevertheless, it's a fact that i'm not the type to gain weight easily, though i eat a lot.

well others trying hard to maintain theirs, i can eat whatever i want without

worrying too much about getting too fat, alhamdulillah.

just wish i cud put up a lil more so that i feel better.

hmm, dah xtau nk tulis ape.

nk sambung keje, dayah tgh lena diulit mimpi. ceh.

penning off.

Chapter 2

2009-03-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

Every day she looks at the horizon, witnessing the beauty of the world God had created for her, for all of the worldly being. The innocence and purity of every creation are glorious and overwhelming. Only those who really understand and reflective enough would be able to see what is behind each entity that lies across her essence and hanging between the skies; they are the answers to every creature’s miseries and happiness in the world. She has her own way of savouring these; her own comfort would always be Moon and Stars. Earth just cannot understand how mortals could so heartless (if they have hearts intact) to abuse and devastate these miracles of God.

She pulls herself together as time passes by. There are so many things around her these days and patiently she attends to every one of it. She could have no other way better to amuse herself. Little trifles from the earthlings are amusing and sometimes a little trying for her nature, but she smiles to all these.

When days seemingly to be overpowering her calmness, she starts to shudder. She got nothing to hold on to, but her sturdiness does not give in. Day and night, she silently clings to her will...

Weeks, perhaps months have passed when the birds start to fly by, whimpering, that Wind would soon come…

FINALLY... the truth.

2009-02-28T12:02:00.002+08:00

yup.
the truth.
always hurt.
ntah lah, aku serius tak tau nk ckp ape lg.
ape dh tak ade ke org dlm dunia ni yg jujur?
jujur dgn hati?
jujur dgn perasaan?
jujur dgn sesama insan?
jujur dgn iman?
jujur dgn Allah?

this moment, sedang aku turunkn jr satu per satu atas papan kekunci ni,
hakikat yg sebenar terus merobek2.

breathe....

ok.

well, kata org itu lah dunia.
we choose our own path,
and our choice leads us to where we are. right now.

"Blame no one but yourself for this, lost soul!
I feared it would be so that day we met
Long since, and you were changed. And i said then,
He will forget, he will forget."
Robert Frost, 'Warning'

nasi lemak~!

2009-02-28T11:45:00.000+08:00

hohoho~!
arini bgn pg2 ingat nk btungkus lumus ar wat keje.
byk wo~!
tp bukak mata je subuh td, gugu mengingatkan aku pd misi kitorg yg tertangguh smlm;
masak ns lemak! yeay!
misi start kul lapan lebey kot, aku dgn gugu (setelah berbincang dgn seriusnye) decide nk amik je daun pandan kat umah mamat blakang ni.
ingat nk bg salam mintak izin, tp mengenangkn yg possibilities bdk2 tu akan beramah mesra n mintak ns kitorg msk,
kitorg pon amik je senyap2. hohoho!
(rasa thutang budi plak)

aku xpandai masak, tp alhamdulillah, dgn kepakaran gugu dan sedikit skill aku masak sambal dan telur dadar, sume perut kenyang, heheh.
oh ye, aku n gugu dh tak rasa thutang budi kt org blakang sbb time tgh msk td, ade je org benti amik daun pandan tu, xmintak izin pon~
so, selamat... heh.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Chapter 1

2009-02-28T11:32:00.000+08:00

One day.
Two days.
And more days had gone but still without any news from Wind.
Earth has been patient these days; secretly watching the world goes around and around.
Waiting for at least a word of how and what Wind is doing in far away land.
She used to waiting; as Wind is not the kind to stay.
Wind is restless, in search of something that she, Earth, does not know what.
She will never know. Nevertheless, for her, that is okay. "I will wait."
Of course, she will, for Wind had made a promise; a promise to wait and not running away.

She still remembers that one time when Wind was uncontrollable; in agony. Wind did not say anything. But the silence was terrifying. It was like a peaceful moment before the storm breaks.
And she knew well who or what made him so.
It was she.

* * * * * * * * * *

It was rather amazing to think how both Wind and she could to be together. Nobody in the world thought both of them could ever intertwine. Two entities but one form. She was gay, and he was more serious. That time, she was trying her luck. It was lonely back there, for she had nobody to reason with. It was a monsoon season. The sky was gloomy, so did Cloud. Cloud was not at all unkind to murk like that; he had to. However, that was not what caught her attention. It was Wind who was always around and occasionally stops by to say hello. Wind was rather fascinating, especially with her. The feeling was refreshing and new to her. She did not know what it was. She was drawn to Wind each day; his presence made her heart felt intact.
It took her several years to realise that she needed Wind. She was afraid, not knowing what to do. She might be wrong about her feeling; it might not be the same with him, but she wanted to give it a try. She got nothing to lose. She was brave and confident; she was determined that she could give herself a chance to truly understand the feeling.
Cloud was not saying it, but she knew her resolve pained him. She did not see that pain. She could not see it. Cloud was far, unreachable, but always there. For her. The signs never reached her.
* * * * * *
Today, the Sun continues to be extremely unkind to her. The rays are intense; they are smouldering her very bit slowly. She wishes to escape, but her hope is hanging still in the air; that Wind will soon find his way back. She braves the heat, “I will not fall.”
As usual, Cloud is so kind as to protect her and shelters the burning sunlight from every inch of her bosom.
Thankful, Earth looks up to the sky and quietly whispering her gratitude...

i will...

2009-02-28T11:29:00.001+08:00

I will live on...

I thought I would not be able to live even one day without you
Somehow, I managed to live on (longer) than I thought

Do not look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all

I hope your heart feels relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by

2009-02-25T12:42:00.000+08:00

i've spent some time today to read back previous entries of my FS blog, but i'm interested in this:

"I have many dreams, and I believe all of us have at least one dream in this life, something that either we can achieve or not. Nevertheless, dreams are something that keep us going; a source of inspiration, motivation and hope for certain people to achieve better way of life, help them seeing good things in this world and generate energies to keep on going and improve. I remember the times when my friends and I were lying on the school field one fine day, sharing our dreams while looking at the blue skies. Perhaps, those dreams were totally different from what we have now because we, at the brink of adulthood, may possibly generate lots more dreams to suit our current needs and desires. But the dreams we had before were not just mere dreams, it were sources of hope that allow us to have faith in what has been destined for us by Allah SWT in the future. Whether we can achieve these dreams or not, it is something that only time would tell."

issues

2009-02-25T12:08:00.001+08:00

hari ni kelas full dr pg sampai ptg..
ngantuk, lapar giler..
tak sempat nk breakfast, even a glass of milk pun xsempat :P

skang tgh kelas CALL, mr S x masuk lg. heheh. curik2 on9. lm dah xupdate blog.
CIE tadi we had quite an interesting discussion on the issue of PPSMI implementation in schools throughout the nation.what do we, as future teachers think about it?

A.samad said came to our college today (i think he's still in the college) to give a talk on national language.
honestly, i dont hold any grudge against those who fight against PPSMI implementation. yes, in any approaches or programmes, we have pros and cons of it.
but to really judge that English in science and math is a pain in the ass or as we often said 'students of rural areas unable to learn and be comfortable learning these subjects using englsih' as our excuse to stop this programme is unfair and an injustice to the development to our education system and to the growth of aour nation.

i share the same opinion as ZAinul Ariffin in his article in today's NST 'Every language has a role to play'
i would like to highlight some lines from the article.

"First, the position of the national language -- which we all admit is important and must be a cornerstone of our nationhood. As Malaysians, we should all be proficient in Bahasa Malaysia. There are no two ways about it.

Second, the importance of English -- and how it will add to the national competitiveness. Right now we teach the two subjects in English not only to have pupils access knowledge easier, but to give them more confidence and ease with it.

We acknowledge the importance of both, and we must try to accommodate both. It should not be a zero sum game where we choose one over the other"

i do believe that, implementing PPSMI does not mean that we'll entirely disregard our Bahasa Melayu as our national language. like Ariffiin said, we acknowledge and accommodate both languages for the sake of enhancing and improving our nation better. my lecturer Mr R had once quoting our Minister of Education to say that Malaysia is 'a nation at school'. meaning that, a vast population of our citizen is currently at school. therefore PPSMI is a crucial issue that need to be dealt wisely as it concerns millions of our future generation. this should not be mixed with politics or racial sentiments. think about our nation's future.
i may not a credible person to say much, but as one of the future generation, i would like to say this to those who are concerned:
dont deprieve us of the chance of learning and grabbing as much knowledge as we can. We uphold our national language, we sustain language of information age. we maintain our roots, we boost our aptitude.

lalalala~!

2009-02-21T08:53:00.000+08:00

today, i'll be back to where i should be. bosan. i'm not ready for all that, i know. but i got to.

esok ade presentation, aku xprepare lg, hehe. malas je bila balik umah nie. nantilah, mlm kang aku siapkan la ape2 point yg patut. hiopefully all goes well.

now that i think of it, i cant really go home without some hesitation anymore. my mind will be 'plagued' with thoughts that tormenting, feelings that suppressing. geez. mana lg nak pi ni? i need to find another sanctuary soon.

till next time, penning off.

xoxo.

the first entry

2009-02-19T11:54:00.000+08:00

hmm..

i dont know why i started a new blog.

perhaps my mind went off too far today, and i just something to re-direct it.

well, i think this will be the new place for me to let out all my feelings..

ok, a smiley face from nelly to boost up my energy, hiyah~!